


Baby, You're My Open Road

by natisrapunzel



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, College Descisions are Stressful as hell, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Anxiety, Pining, Sharing a Bed, rinharu - Freeform, sharkbait - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 06:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14665686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natisrapunzel/pseuds/natisrapunzel
Summary: When Haru unceremoniously shows up at Samezuka to inform Rin that they're driving to a swimming meet in Kyoto over the weekend, Rin is forced to come to terms with his future swimming plans, his mom's cranky old car, and his annoying crush on his old rival.





	1. An Invitation You Can't Refuse

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy my first Free! fic! The title is after the song "What We Live For" by American Authors.

Rin’s head jerked up, the shrill ringing of the class bell yanking him out of his daydream. Blinking, he attempted to center himself in the classroom. Still, after a few moments, he still felt groggy and disoriented, forcing him to acknowledge that he might have been actually dreaming again. Lately, his training left him leaving the pool sometimes hours after official practice had ended, which left him scrambling for time to finish his homework well into the night. By the time he had managed to half-ass his assignments, he was left with only a few hours to sleep, which made staying awake during his dull, piece-of-cake classes all the more difficult. Rubbing his eyes, he stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, not having to put anything inside since he hadn’t bothered to take anything out for notes when class had started. It was his senior year, and he was doing well enough in school to meet the standards of colleges he was aiming to swim at. Plus, meeting their high athletic standards was far more important than producing a perfect report card. And with luck, in a few years, he would never have to worry about math or environmental science again—he would be swimming pro full-time, doing what he loves, maybe even with the person he—

Rin slammed the classroom door shut, trying to silence the thought. There were many words that could describe his relationship with Haru—frustrating and antagonizing immediately came to mind. However, Rin had to admit that especially recently, his relationship with Haru had centered him just as much as it had pushed him. While they still argued constantly, concerning the other Iwatobi members that their rivalry would heat up again, their tousles were a comfortingly stable part of his life, something that he looked forward to, even. Working himself to death with swimming and schoolwork, Haru’s annoying silence and quiet retorts calmed Rin like nothing else would. Annoyingly, he found himself using the days he would visit Haru’s team as goals to look forward to during particularly grueling weeks. And even though he knew that the only response he would get from Haru would be a quick glance before he looked away, his heart still skipped when he caught sight of that uninterested, ocean-blue eyed gaze when Rin stepped out of the train.

Yeah, maybe he did have a tiny crush on Haru. He was a romantic enough to recognize it. But being a romantic sap made his feelings all the more difficult. Rin scoffed as he turned down the hallway towards his locker. With all the grand romantic notions he had, his love life was supposed to turn out like one of the fluffy romantic comedies they show in theatres. Instead, he had to fall for someone as unemotional as Haru, who was more interested in water and mackerel than being in a relationship with anyone, let alone his former rival. It was better for everyone that Rin kept his feelings to himself. If anything, he lamented, it would make his love life all the more poetic. 

“Rin.”

His thoughts came to a screeching halt at the sound of that voice. Rin jumped out of his skin when he caught sight of the speaker, still dressed in his Iwatobi uniform standing casually in front of his locker, as if he was here for classes himself and not ditching his own miles away. He stared at Rin from under his dark black hair (that looked longer than Rin remembered last time?) looking as unimpressed as ever. Still, making contact with Haru’s bored (beautiful) blue eyes made Rin’s chest tighten all the same. 

He staggered towards his locker, too shocked to even bring up a guise of looking cool. “What are you doing here?” He demanded, internally wincing as his tone came off harsher than he intended. Trying to regain some composure, he tried to casually place his hand against the locker to support himself (and be closer to Haru), but he just winced as his movement made a harsh bang. So smooth, Matsuoka, he chided himself. Haru was going to be more done with his antics than usual at this rate.

While Rin was sputtering to have composure, Haru was unflinchingly meeting his gaze. “You have a car, right?” He asked. Ah, so that was what this was about. Rin was embarrassed that he had even considered (briefly!) Haru’s random arrival to be akin to the epic chase scene at the end of romantic movies, where someone finds the other to confess their love and ask for them to be together. Yeah, needing his car would be a lot more realistic.

He nodded. “I can use my mom’s. Why?” He debating asking if he simply needed a ride back to Iwatobi, but decided against baiting him just yet. He was still curious as to why he had come all this way to ask him in person. Although that was likely because Haru was shit at messaging, or even remembering to bring his phone with him when he left. I bet he doesn’t even have it on him now, he thought, smiling to himself. 

Haru was suddenly thrusting a piece of paper at him, interrupting his thoughts yet again. Rin shifted off of the lockers to grab it. From a brief scan, Rin could tell it was a flyer for a swimming meet. Immediately intrigued, he started to skim—a huge collegiate meet, this weekend in Kyoto. Rin looked up from the paper at Haru, who was now staring off to the side. Typical, he thought, feeling his cheeks heat to his total annoyance. 

“All the trains were sold out,” he said softly, not looking back at Rin. “It would be cool to see all of the teams swimming…see who we could be swimming with next year.”

Rin’s chest instantly filled with warmth. He never wanted to force Haru down any path, but he knew how much he loved to swim, and how he could apply his talent to never have to stop. After they had fought about Haru’s future once, he hadn’t broached the topic again out of respect that it was Haru’s choice. Haru bringing up his future was certainly a first, especially one that involved swimming. Rin was beyond thrilled at this change and wanted to support it as best he could. Besides, the idea of a road trip and weekend with Haru was hard to pass up. Still…

“You want us to go to this?” He asked, trying to mimic Haru’s indifference, although undoubtedly, the raven could see right through him. Haru nodded, looking at Rin again. Dammit, he thought in a panic, his eyes are shining again, look away before you get suckered in!! Rin could never heed his own advice, and the second his eyes met Haru’s deep blues, he knew it was over. He sighed in remorse, as Haru made it impossible for him to act like his answer was not already decided. “Even if I said yes,” he began, “Where would we stay? We would have to find someplace with a pool so we could train, and the hotels are probably already booked…”

“I found one that had room.” Haru said simply. Rin blanched, impressed that Haru had put more thought into this than seeking him out for his car. He opened his mouth to respond, but Haru spoke again. “And don’t worry about the money. You don’t have to pay me back, since you’re driving.”

“Since I’m—” Rin sputtered, raking a hand through his hair. “Haru, I haven’t even said yes yet!”

Haru’s lips tilted slightly upward, a sight so rare Rin almost gasped outright. “Yes, you did. I can tell by your eyes. Thank you, Rin.”

He made a move to turn around, but Rin reached out, grabbing his uniform sleeve to stop him. “Wait! When are you going to want to leave? How are we—”

“Come to my house after school Friday. It’s only 3 hours away, so we will get there in time for dinner. Then we’ll stay the night, watch the races, and drive back Sunday.” Haru said. He narrowed his eyes at where Rin’s hand was clutching his shirt sleeve, so Rin loosened his grip. 

He scowled. “If you’re planning on taking us to mackerel restaurants, I’m not doing it.”

“They serve meat at a lot of places, Rin.”

“I’m serious!”

Haru looked away, and Rin grinned, counting that as a win for him. As if a weekend with Haru wasn’t a win enough. Still, while he was admittedly excited to spend time with Haru, his heart ached at the reality of the situation. Although the scene was heart-wrenchingly romantic—an impromptu getaway to an exciting place, all in support of something they both loved—there was no way Haru reciprocated his affections. Nonetheless, Rin was relieved to have a weekend away from his hectic training with the one person who could make the madness of his life less complicated, even if he was the most complicated person Rin knew.

However, there was something else nagging him in the back of his mind, making him feel guilty that this whole trip was a bit of a ruse. He had been looking to swim at many of the colleges swimming this weekend, but he had received a very tempting offer from a university in Australia, one that he might not be able to refuse. The program would put him in a position to get to the professional level. Accepting their offer would not only mean he was one step closer to his dream, but also all the stress he was carrying with college recruitment would finally be over. 

Rin was drawn back to the present, with Haru in front of him, looking at him with what Rin had deemed to mean “perplexed indifference.” He had probably been staring, fuck. He dropped his hold on Haru gracelessly, bringing his now burning hand behind his head in embarrassment. “Well, I’ll see you Friday then.” Have fun on the train back to Iwatobi, mackerel-brain, he thought.

Haru hesitated for a moment, meeting Rin’s gaze with such intensity that Rin could barely breathe. “Thank you, Rin. I think this will be fun.” Hearing those words from Haru, Rin’s heart threatened to stop beating completely. He launched himself towards the raven-haired boy, looping his arm around his shoulders and hugging him from the side. 

“If you’re this excited, it’s definitely going to be fun,” Rin joked, earning a terse grunt from Haru. Laughing, he released his grip, meeting Haru’s gaze for a final time, nodding his goodbye. “See you, Haru.” He watched him walk away, shaking his head at Haru’s eccentricity. His chest ached at the conflicting thoughts swirling in his head—annoying attraction to Haru, fear of not getting chosen by a good school, moving away again. Still, one idea kept coming back, one he felt with absolute certainty. He needed to be on the same team as Haru again; to swim with him legally and win together, at least one more time. 

Rin smiled, clutching the flyer to his chest. Maybe, this weekend could give them that. And maybe more, the sap in him couldn’t help but hope. Outwardly, he scoffed at himself. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Behave for Haru. He stalked down the hall to the class he was 15 minutes late to, trying to bring back his angsty aura by pounding his steps and playing rock in his headphones, but even with these efforts, he was not able to keep the small smile off his face.


	2. A Minor Inconvenience

Rin huffed, locking his phone with a firm click. He had been checking the time—it was now fifteen minutes after Haru had told him to come, and there had been no sign of him. Not that Rin had actually tried the door. He wanted to look cool leaning against the car when Haru came out, not like someone so excited and nervous about the trip that they showed up ten minutes early. (He totally hadn’t done that.) He sighed, tilting his head up, trying to scan for any signs of Haru in his house. If he wasn’t out soon, he was going to have to forego his pose, swallow his pride, and ring the doorbell. 

Instead, he pulled his phone out of his pocket again, shooting Haru a quick text—I’m outside. Despite Haru’s total incompetence with his cell, he figured it was worth a shot, giving Haru one last chance to see him looking the most put-together he was likely to be this weekend. After a few minutes, however, Rin finally ran out of patience. He huffed, pushing himself off of the side of the car and stalked towards the stairs to Haru’s house. The dork’s probably asleep or in the bath, he thought bitterly. But when Rin had climbed halfway up the stairs, he froze, startled to see Haru at the top, a large duffel slung over his shoulder. 

Rin narrowed his eyes as he took in Haru’s descending figure. His goddamn Iwatobi uniform would’ve been better than this torture—jeans rolled up at the ankles and what looked like a very soft striped shirt. Stupid Haru. Ignoring the flush in his cheeks, he focused on glaring more intensely at his friend. “Oi, you’re late,” he barked out.

Haru’s blue eyes were roaming everywhere except to meet Rin’s gaze. “I was ready earlier. You were late.”

“Me?!” Rin choked. He scowled over his shoulder, starting to walk back down the steps with Haru one step behind him. “I was here twenty minutes ago! You didn’t see the car?”

Haru was looking to his right, not condoning Rin’s retorts with eye contact. “You only messaged me just now.”

Rin was even more floored than if Haru had simply not noticed the car. He blinked in confusion. “But you’re never on your phone.” 

Haru looked down at the steps, his face expressionless. “I was when you texted.”

Rin snorted. Typical Haru. Just when he thought he had Haru all figured out, he would do something completely unexpected like this. He reached the bottom of the stairs, not waiting for the raven-haired boy to catch up. Instead, he strode to the trunk and popped it open silently, knowing Haru wouldn’t have a clue as to where to put his bag. He waited until Haru had placed the duffel in to slam it shut, then walked to get in the driver’s side. He sat down unceremoniously, then proceeded to fumble with his seatbelt. Couldn’t keep it cool for five minutes, he thought bitterly, but when his gaze accidentally flicked to Haru, all thoughts of looking ridiculous faded to an aching warmth. Haru was looking at his hand quizzically, gripping the seatbelt in front of him like a foreign object. Rin’s gaze softened, and he leaned over the console. 

“Here,” he grumbled, taking the grey material out of Haru’s hands. He moved Haru’s other arm up so the seatbelt would wrap around him properly before securing it. Haru hadn’t made a move to stop him; when Rin looked up at his face, he was calmly looking out the window. Rin smiled, taking Haru’s serenity to mean the quiet raven was truly happy to be going on this trip with him. Then, in the same instant, he was instantly aware of how close they were; one hand still on Haru’s shoulder, the other inches from his hip. He jerked back quickly, hoping Haru couldn’t tell how flushed he was sure he appeared. “Haven’t you ever been in a car before?” He grilled, trying to cover up his embarrassment.

“Yes,” Haru replied, not turning his head. “I know how to fasten a seatbelt.”

Rin’s eyes widened, then narrowed within seconds. “Oi, and you made me do it for you?!” He could feel the blush creeping up his cheeks.

Haru finally turned away from the window, opting to look out over the dashboard than meet Rin’s gaze. “I thought you were trying to be nice. Thank you, Rin.”

Rin bristled. Evidently, he had misread the situation, but at least Haru hadn’t caught on to how much he was blushing. Already, this trip was a struggle for the redhead—Haru was aggravating as ever, but every eccentric thing about him only made Rin melt more. Pathetic, he thought to himself. “Don’t get used to it,” he spat out, shifting the car to start driving. 

When he made it out of Haru’s neighborhood, he spared a look at the raven out of the corner of his eye. Despite himself, he felt a small smile forming as he took in Haru’s peaceful expression as the Iwatobi swimmer stared down at his lap. Rin wished he could understand how his mind worked—he hoped to one day be a person that Haru felt comfortable enough sharing those thoughts with, or being close enough to him to be able to read his expressions to understand what he was thinking. Still, he never wanted to push Haru to be closer to him than he was comfortable. He was grateful enough that Haru and the other Iwatobi guys were back in his life after the shit he had put them through.

Remembering the events of the past year, his brow furrowed; he had been too consumed with his own emotions that he hadn’t realized what an ass he was to his old friends. Without them, Rin knew without a doubt he wouldn’t be where he was today. He had needed that push by Haru and the others to be vulnerable and honest about what he was going through. Maybe someday, he could be someone Haru would let in his own walls.

“You go here.” Rin blinked, Haru’s voice snapping him out of his thoughts. Since he was driving, he definitely should’ve been paying more attention. Shit. When his eyes followed where Haru was referring to, his eyes narrowed.

“If we’re going to Kyoto, it’s faster to wait for the next intersection to turn,” he snapped, not making a move to follow Haru’s directions.

Haru tsked; out of the corner of his eye, Rin saw his head turn to look out the window. “When I looked it up, this way was faster.”

He huffed. “Fine,” he bit out, putting his blinker on and turning at the last second possible. “If we get stuck in traffic, I’m blaming you.”

He heard Haru shift in the seat next to him. Then, suddenly, he heard J-Pop music blaring on the speakers. Rin jumped out of his skin, his face on fire. “Gah! Gou, what the hell shit is this?!” He reached blindly to change the channel, but kept missing, hitting random buttons he hoped wouldn’t do something drastic to his mom’s car. “Gah!!” He yelped as his hand found the AC, getting him a full-on blast of ice-cold air right in the face, strong enough to make his hair get swept back. “Haru, can you change the goddamn channel? And turn this AC down! I can’t look away from the road!”

“I like this song,” Haru said quietly. Rin sputtered, blindly hitting more buttons until he felt the ghost of Haru’s hand press the button next to him. Instantly, the AC went off, and he sighed.

Still, that made hearing the music all the easier, to which he scowled. “I can’t believe this is what you listen to, Haru. Here I was, thinking you had taste.”

“I do have taste,” he said plainly. “This is a good song, Rin.”

Rin huffed. “I could’ve written this shit! The lyrics don’t have any deep meaning or anything.”

“So you’re saying you couldn’t write deep lyrics, either.”

“What!?” Rin screeched, tightening his hold on the wheel. “That’s not what I meant at all!”

“You just said that you could’ve written it, and they have simple lyr—”

“I know what I said,” he scowled. God, how much longer were they going to be stuck in a car together? He had forgotten how aggravating Haru truly could be, crush or not. Some things surpassed his romantic feelings, like how much he valued good music. Raking one hand through his hair, he bit out, “Look, I meant that songs ought to have deep lyrics. They should make you feel something besides, I don’t know, all peppy and happy all of the time. That’s not realistic!”

Haru didn’t respond, but Rin knew he was still listening, so he continued. “And like, I’m not the best with words, but if I did have to write music, I would want to make people feel what I feel. Hearing someone put to words emotions can be really healing. So I don’t think I could do better, now,” He emphasized, “but I think that professional artists should at least try.”

He risked a glance at Haru, expecting the raven to be transfixed on the view of the ocean from the road. He was stunned to see his blue eyes looking at him. Swallowing, he tried to refocus on the road, but felt his gaze on him like a burn. “You would write good lyrics,” Haru said eventually. Rin felt something twist in his heart at the sentiment. “But I like these happy songs sometimes. You don’t have to think about anything.”

It took all of Rin’s concentration to keep himself from whirling to look at the boy next to him. What don’t you want to think about? He wanted desperately to ask, the question crawling up his throat. Instead, he silently reached over to the console, blindly turning up the volume. 

“Just this once,” he muttered, not looking at Haru for a reaction (if he had one). “Then we listen to my music.”

They were approaching traffic, and he definitely needed to be focusing on the road, but Rin found himself stealing a glimpse at Haru once again. He nearly slammed on the breaks in shock. Haru was nodding along to the music. Rin tried to steady his breathing. The subtle movement was somehow the most adorable thing he had seen in his entire life. It wasn’t as if he was dancing or even anything excessive! Still, it was a movement so Haru-like and so pure he was reduced to a puddle of sappiness. 

Rin tried to collect himself, clenching the steering wheel righter. He was clearly overreacting. Still…he dared a look again. Haru’s head was slightly bobbing to the rhythm. Rin could’ve sworn that he was slightly smiling, too. This was too much, Rin thought, trying to re-focus on the road. Still, knowing that Haru was practically dancing in front of him had his heart absolutely melting. He contemplated burying his head in his hands, only refraining because then Haru would definitely look at him questioningly. He stifled a groan. How was he going to act normal for any part of this trip?

*

He ended up letting the entire trashy CD play all the way through. Rin really was a goner for Haru, even with all of his antics, he thought humorously, turning on one of his rock albums. They hadn’t acknowledged each other during the entire J-Pop travesty, save for Rin’s occasional glances making sure he looked content. They had been driving for about a half an hour, which had them still two and a half out from Kyoto. Rin yawned as he slowed the car down; they were coming upon traffic from some city outskirts. The intense guitar and wailing vocals didn’t exactly fit the scenery of headlights surrounding them and an orange sunset barely visible overhead, but Rin liked his music anywhere.

He started singing along to the chorus, interrupted only by another yawn. Rubbing his eyes, he realized he should’ve made a better effort to go to sleep earlier the night before. Being so accustomed to his schedule from hell, he hadn’t even thought that staying up until three before morning practice at six was going to make him more drained during the three hour drive. The mesmerizing look of headlights and the pavement wasn’t helping to lull Rin’s thoughts. He forced himself to blink, turning up the music slightly to try to wake himself up with the heavy guitar.

Rin hit the chorus again, singing slightly louder this time. As he attempted the higher notes, he heard a slight scoff from his left. He scowled, his ears burning. “Got a problem with my singing, Haru?” he bit out, slightly inching forward in the traffic.

There was a pause of silence (well, excluding the screaming from the speakers). “No,” he finally heard Haru say. Still, Rin waited, sensing that wasn’t the end of what he had to say. After another few seconds, Haru continued, “It’s softer than I thought.”

“What?” Rin’s eyes narrowed, having nothing to do with the traffic surrounding him. What the hell was Haru going on about? What was softer than he thought—the car seats? He shook his head slightly in confusion while maneuvering the car out of the jam and onto open roads.

“Everyone is screaming in this music,” he heard Haru say softly. Rin risked a look now that he was out of the mayhem and saw blue eyes focusing on something up ahead. Dammit, why is he so beautiful, he though automatically. “But when you sing it, it’s softer than I thought. Even though the words are hard, you make them softer.”

Rin didn’t know what to make of that. Like anything from Haru, he felt himself blushing despite himself, but the sentiments the Iwatobi swimmer was expressing felt like something that deserved to be flustered about. They were strangely personal and deep, like Haru was noticing something about Rin below the surface that no one else had seen. It made him feel too many things to comprehend driving and on three hours of sleep. “Whatever,” he started, but the retort fell flat, betrayed by his weak voice. “Thanks,” he finally grumbled, doing everything to not look over at Haru.

They drove in silence for a few minutes more, Rin’s rock the only noise between them. The sun had set completely, so the only light came from car lights or those overlooking the street. Rin found himself yawning yet again. He cursed himself for not skipping English homework to get an extra hour. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to focus them on the road, but all the lights were beginning to blur. He needed to snap out of this. Focus, he told himself. You have to drive Haru to Kyoto. You’ve stayed awake hundreds of times before. Why can’t you just stay awake—

“Rin!” 

Rin gasped, his eyes flying open wide, hands clenching the steering wheel tightly. Blinking, he tried to remember what had happened—he was drowsy at the wheel, he kept losing focus, but had he actually fallen asleep? His gaze snapped to Haru next to him. He was met with blue eyes looking up at his, his eyebrows narrowed—like he was worried?

“You kept jerking like you were falling asleep,” Haru explained. Rin sagged back against his seat, almost sighing out loud he was so relieved. If he had genuinely fallen asleep at the wheel, with Haru in the car, he would have never forgiven himself. Still, this shouldn’t have even been an issue. He could stay up well into the night at school…the lulling lights on the road shouldn’t have been this big of an issue.

“You’re tired,” Haru stated. He didn’t give Rin room to question it. Although he wanted to, Rin thought bitterly, he couldn’t deny it even if he had the chance. Reluctantly, Rin nodded in agreement. Haru pursed his lips. Then he said, “Pull over.”

Rin flinched. “What?”

“Pull over. I’m driving.”

“H—haru?!” Rin protested. He tried to keep the car going straight, planning on ignoring his demands, but suddenly Haru was leaning over the console and reaching for the steering wheel. “Haru, geez! This is even more dangerous!”

“It’s still dangerous if you fall asleep on the road,” he replied, now fighting Rin’s hands to reach the wheel. “I’ve driven before. Let me do it.”

“I’m supposed to drive you, though,” Rin complained, trying not to yawn. It ripped through him anyways with a loud noise, and he cursed his timing and his English homework. “You won’t know where we’re going! We’ll end up in the ocean if you get distracted by the water!”

“Rin.” The way Haru said it—so calm, but with some meaning underneath—made him actually stop. With an eye still on the road, he glanced at Haru, staring at him almost as intensely as the day of the relay last year. He gulped. “Pull over. Just let me drive so you can sleep.”

Rin sighed. For one reason or the other, he felt more exhausted tonight than he had in a while, despite his consistent lack of sleep. The thought of being able to go to bed right then was impossible to turn down. Also, the fact that Haru could see through his shit was making it harder to pretend. As much as he was peeved he could be read so easily, he appreciated that Haru could call him on his shit and make sure he was taking care of himself. He didn’t deserve it, but he liked feeling taken care of. He hit the blinker, moving the car to the side of the road and eventually to a stop.

Unclicking his seatbelt, he whirled to Haru. “You better not be bluffing. You have an actual license on you? In case we get pulled over?”

Haru nodded, but Rin continued. “Good, cause if anything happens to my mom’s car, you know there’ll be hell to pay. Actually, now that I think of it, she told me I could drive it, not anyone else, so I should just keep driving—”

“Rin,” Haru said again, already making his way around to the driver’s side of the car. “Just go to sleep.”

All the air escaped out of him in one long sigh. Rin nodded, falling against the frame of the car. He dragged himself into the passenger seat, awake long enough to buckle up, watch Haru merge back onto the road, and nestle into the seat.

He was staring at the stars out the window, his eyes half-shut, when he heard Haru speak. He must think I’m asleep, he thought to himself as his entire body stilled. “Maybe tomorrow you’ll tell me why you’re so tired,” Haru mumbled. Rin smiled to himself, even as he heard Haru turn the J-Pop back on, as the stars and the happy, meaningless lyrics lulled him to sleep.


	3. An Unexpected Sleepover

“Rin.”

Rin blinked, squinting to take in his suddenly dark surroundings. He felt groggy enough from the nap, the feeling made worse by his attempts to figure out where he was in his post-sleep haze. 

Slowly, he realized that he was leaning back against the passenger side of his mom’s car, his legs tucked against his chest. The car, he realized with a start. He had been driving, but got too tired, so Haru had—

Haru. Haru had been driving. Rin whirled to the driver’s side of the car, only to find Haru leaning halfway over the console, blue eyes widened as they looked back at his. His eyes followed Haru’s arm down to where it was reaching across their seats, stopping where his hand was gripping Rin’s shoulder. He flinched despite himself, shocked out of sleep by the rare physical contact from Haru. 

“I needed to wake you up,” Haru said. Rin’s eyes flicked back to his instantly. It dawned on him that since Haru was clearly not driving, they must have reached their destination. Still…he shifted up in his seat and yawned, squinting over Haru’s shoulder at the clock. He blinked again. It was about an hour since he had fallen asleep—there was no way they were in Kyoto already.

“Something happened with the car,” Haru breathed, not looking at Rin. As he began to sputter more questions, Haru reached over the console again and lightly touching his hand, effectively silencing the redhead’s complaints. “I already called a repair shop, but they were closing before we could get there.”

“What?! Haru, what happened?” Rin immediately felt alert at Haru’s words. The raven began explaining the circumstances—some light had been flashing, he got off the road to find a mechanic, and then the car stopped moving—but the more Haru spoke about the events, the less Rin was able to understand, his mind still very muddled from his nap. Wake up, dammit! He thought, shaking his head to wake himself up. Haru wasn’t making any sense to him, he needed to see the problem himself.

When Haru finished, Rin burst out, “Let me see what happened! Maybe I know how to fix—”

“Rin,” Haru began, his hand pressing harder against Rin’s, “You’re barely awake. You could make the problem worse by hitting something by mistake.”

“It’s my mom’s car! I know how to do things with it,” he grumbled, scanning the interior of the vehicle to try to discover what was broken. (He didn’t; anytime there had been difficulties with the car, his mom had immediately taken it to a mechanic. She had scoffed when Rin had offered to try to fix it himself once.)

“No, we’ll go to the repair shop tomorrow,” Haru said, his eyebrows slightly creasing. “You need to go back to sleep.”

“I need to get us to Kyoto tonight!” Rin sighed angrily, shaking off Haru’s hand to run his hands through his hair in exasperation. “I shouldn’t have let you drive, you probably did something by mistake—”  
“I didn’t do anything to your car! I was driving a lot safer than you were earlier.”

Rin scoffed. “I am a very safe driver! Not wanting to go less than the speed limit doesn’t make me unsafe!” He scowled, remembering Haru’s complaints at his “fast driving” earlier that day.

“Your speed’s fine,” Haru scowled, looking out the window suddenly. When he didn’t say a snotty comeback, Rin leaned back in his chair, his eyebrows knit in contemplation.

He crossed his arms. “Then what’s wrong with my driving?” He asked before he could help himself. He watched Haru’s jaw clench slightly, making no move to face Rin to answer his question. Instead, he heard Haru mumble quietly, “Never mind.”

Rin huffed. Though he was perplexed by Haru’s comment, their brief argument had managed to wake him up. Now, his mind was whirling with questions about where they go from here. “If the car is broken,” he winced at the word, hoping with everything in him the damage wasn’t too severe and just Haru’s overreaction, “and we can’t fix it tonight, what are we doing?”

Under the shitty streetlights, Rin saw the ghost of a blush form on Haru’s cheeks. But Haru turned to face Rin again, and he understood the flush to have been just a trick of the fluorescents. “I went to the first parking lot I could find,” Haru said in a monotone voice. “I saw a motel across from us that we can probably stay at. That’s why I was waking you up.”

Rin turned; sure enough, the faded neon lights of the motel flickered against his window. His eyes went to Haru in their reflection—he was too mesmerizing for his own good even in the shitty half-darkness. “You could’ve just carried me,” Rin joked despite himself, smirking at the raven in the window. As expected, Haru gave him no reaction, except for jerking his head away from Rin to stare at the car’s dashboard. Rin’s smirk turned into a soft smile, though his heart felt heavy. He had always enjoyed flirting with Haru, even when they were kids; somehow, Haru’s impassive, bored, I’m-done-with-Rin’s-shit reaction was much more satisfying than when other guys got all flustered from Rin’s teasing. Maybe that was because he had always had feelings for Haru, even though he hadn’t realized it. Still, flirting with him now that he knew he was in deep for him was more painful than he liked to admit. If Haru’s bored reaction wasn’t enough to prove how thoroughly uninterested he was in Rin romantically, joking or not, Rin had to have no romantic perception at all (and he was very well-versed in the tales of unrequited love from his rom-com collection). Although it reminded him of the impossibility of his love life, he was still addicted to getting some rise out of Haru, even if that “rise” was an annoyed scoff and a glance away from him. Rin didn’t mind at all; moreover, he got to admire Haru’s cheekbones.

“Oi, we should go,” Haru said. Rin went stiff, feeling Haru’s hand gently shaking his shoulder. “You didn’t fall asleep again, did you?”

“No,” Rin snapped, unbuckling and stalking out of the car. “This motel looks fine.” He popped the trunk and tossed Haru his backpack, then slinging his own over his shoulders. Locking the car, he waited for Haru to put his bag on before the two of them walked across to the motel. Inside, they were met with peeling wallpaper and a flickering overhead light. Rin trudged forward towards the desk. 

“Can we have a room for tonight?” He asked briskly. 

The man working at the counter nodded, riddling off the reasonable price and the no-substance policies. Rin nodded, handing over the money for the room in exchange for a key. Without another word, he stomped down the hallway to their room at the end. He fumbled with the key longer than he’d like, especially with Haru lurking over his shoulder, but with a final push, he managed to get the creaky door to unlock. 

Rin shuffled inside, dumping his bag off of his shoulders. It hit the floor with a thud just as his jaw threatened to fall with it.

“The hell—”

Haru snorted beside him, walking further into the room. “You didn’t ask for two beds, Rin,” he said, looking bored as he plopped his bag on the desk chair. 

“I—I thought it was implied!?” Rin practically screeched. His hands raked through his hair. This could not be happening. Bad enough he might’ve broken his mom’s car, they were hours away from Kyoto and staying at a shifty motel, but now he’d have to be inches apart from Haru all night? What kind of cruel joke was the universe playing on him?

“It’s just one night, Rin,” Haru said, his back to Rin as he went through his bag, pulling out his toothbrush and paste. “You’ll be passed out soon enough anyway.”

Rin rolled his eyes. He supposed that was a valid point. He was still worried that having Haru so close to him would cause some sort of disaster. However, he saw no other alternative unless they wanted to pay more for their impromptu stay. “Yeah, we should just go to bed,” he muttered, kneeling to get his toiletries.

When he got to the bathroom, he snorted. Haru, toothbrush in mouth, was seemingly analyzing the shower, scowling at the lack of a bath. “You looking for a bath? Sorry, but I think we have to rough it tonight,” he smirked, wetting his toothbrush.

“You could’ve asked for a bath,” Haru responded, a bit difficult to hear with the toothbrush impeding his speech. He turned back to the sink, so the pair were standing side by side. Together, their torsos barely fit the width of the bathroom, so Haru shouldered Rin out of the way to spit in the sink before resuming brushing.

Rin narrowed his eyes. “You can’t seriously want to bathe in a motel!” He shoved Haru back so he could spit, too. He met Haru’s gaze in the mirror. The raven stared back stoically, if not slightly annoyed with his knit eyebrows. Suddenly, he jutted his hip to the side, almost knocking Rin into the doorframe the room was so narrow. “Oi, watch it, Nanase,” He warned, knocking against Haru’s hip in retaliation.

They knocked each other back and forth a few more times, Rin almost choking on his brush from a particularly vicious hit. He glowered, shoving his hip into Haru’s at full force before spitting out the last of the toothpaste in the sink. Haru’s lips curved into a small smile, even as he had to grip the wall to balance himself from the attack. “Be careful, Rin,” he mumbled in warning, his eyes meeting Rin’s in the mirror. “You’d better sleep with one eye open.”

Rin meant to scoff in denial, but it came out more like a large breath. “What are you going to do?” 

Haru shrugged. “Nothing too bad. I’m sure shadier things have happened in this place.” He silently shouldered past Rin to the bedroom, leaving the redhead in stunned—and slightly frightened—silence. He couldn’t even sputter a coherent response besides whirling to face him, still frozen in the doorframe.

After a minute, Haru seemed to sense Rin’s gaze, looking up from his work of fluffing a pillow. The next moment, the pillow collided with Rin’s face. He yelped at the impact, immediately clamoring to grab the pillow off the ground and retaliate, even winding up the perfect strike against the raven. He was mid-throw when he went completely still. 

Haru was laughing. 

The pillow dropped to the floor, landing on Haru’s feet as Rin stared up in shock. The sound was even rarer than one of Haru’s smiles—he’d only heard it for the first time a year ago, under duress when the Iwatobi guys had tickled it out of him. But he was laughing now, of his own will, and it was the most precious thing Rin had ever witnessed. 

When his laughter died down, Haru met Rin’s eyes with his trademark stoic expression, as if it had never happened. “I told you to watch out,” he said evenly, and Rin erupted into cackles.  
Haru hit him again to silence his bark-like laughter, this time with Rin’s pillow. “Oi, shut up, we need to go to bed.”

Rin nodded, although he slightly stiffened at the word. Bed. He stumbled over to his bag and dug through it for sweatpants. Keeping his back to Haru, he pulled his shirt over his head quickly. He then undid his jeans, struggling slightly with them catching at the ankles, before pulling his grey sweats on. He adjusted the frayed edges of his favorite black tank to cover his hips (it was important he was somewhat decent for Haru!) before turning around and facing a sight far from his goal.

“Haru, jeez!” He yelped, his cheeks flaming. Haru didn’t even look concerned as he looked up from putting something in his backpack, wearing nothing but blue shorts. He willed himself to look away from the expanse of pale, toned skin, only to find Haru’s expression equally stone-cold.

“You’ve seen me shirtless hundreds of times,” he stated, walking towards the bed. “I don’t see how this is any different.”

Rin stammered. Granted, that was true. In fact, when Rin did see Haru, he was typically shirtless. Still…something about him being shirtless now, when they would be sleeping inches apart, miles away from anyone they knew, felt too intimate. Especially when Rin felt so desperately attracted to him. He sighed, hoping that nothing would go horribly awry, and eased himself under the covers on the other side of the bed. Immediately, he rolled over, his back blocking out Haru’s illegal amounts of bare skin. Still, he could feel the warmth of the man lying beside him like he was next to the heater, made worse by Rin’s increasing blush every time he felt Haru shift. The raven rolled on his back, unconsciously making a soft sound when his head hit the pillow. Was he serious!? Rin nearly groaned in agony. How was he going to be calm all night?

Suddenly, the duvet slid off of Rin’s chin, barely covering his shoulder. “Haru, don’t hog the blanket,” he grumbled, yanking the fluffy material back.

“It’s cold in here,” Haru bit back, tugging the blanket to cover himself more. Rin sighed, letting him take some more material.

“I wonder why you’re cold,” he muttered to himself, rolling his eyes before burrowing back into his pillow. “Maybe if you wore clothes, you’d be nice and toasty like me.”

He hadn’t meant for Haru to hear him exactly, but the raven immediately responded. “Like you can talk. Your feet are freezing.”

Rin flinched, realizing the surface his feet were resting against was not the blanket but, in fact, Haru’s bare legs. “I can’t sleep with socks on! Aren’t you the one so concerned that I get my beauty sleep?”

It was silent for a moment. Then, Haru breathed, “I am. You don’t have to put socks on, I guess.”

He huffed in agreement. Closing his eyes, he assumed that their conversation was over and should try to go to sleep. However, right when he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness, Haru’s voice broke the silence.

“Why are you so sleepy today, anyway?” He asked in a whisper, as if they were afraid of waking up their parents like in sleepovers past. Rin smiled to himself, then frowning slightly as he considered Haru’s question. He opened his mouth to try and explain, but found no words. Instead, a huge sigh escaped from his open mouth. He hadn’t had time to come to terms with how his sleep deprivation was affecting him. In the back of his mind, he knew it was getting out of hand. The more frequent naps in classes and lower grades were adding up, but he didn’t have time to think about that or why they were happening—he just had to keep swimming, blindly filling out worksheets, submitting college applications, letters of recommendation, responding to scouts, and finally passing out to do it all again in three or four hours. He never stopped to consider that he needed to change some aspect of this—he didn’t have the time to think.

Eventually, he sighed again, the noise echoing in the quiet room. “I don’t really know what’s going on with me,” he breathed. “I’m not getting a lot of sleep lately. I don’t have time, and I don’t have time to consider what it’s doing to me. All I do is swim and half-ass schoolwork. When I’m not doing that, I have to go through my college choices, which just makes me want to train more to make sure these scholarships won’t go away. I’m so worried about keeping their attention that I don’t have time to consider which one I want attention from,” he laughed humorously. “I just have to keep getting better to get where I want to be, and losing sleep is a small price to pay. Anyways, I’m sorry that it interrupted our trip. Having to sleep that badly…that doesn’t normally happen,” Rin trailed off, staring at the wall across from him in the pitch-black. He clutched the duvet tighter around his shoulders. 

“You should be getting sleep,” Haru said evenly. “If you’re exhausted, your swimming is just going to be sloppy. It’s not going to make you any better.”

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, shifting his head against the pillow. “I need to be doing something. I was so close last year, and I can’t let this opportunity slip away. This is the only shot I’ll have to make it big in swimming. It’s not that big of a sacrifice.” 

A few moments of silence passed before Haru responded. “Are you happy?” The words struck something foreign in Rin’s chest, making it ache in a way he’d never felt before. Was he? Of course he was, he thought quickly, I’m doing what I love, and soon, I’ll be able to do it forever. But some part of him was shaking his head, begging for a day where he didn’t have all these worries on his shoulders. 

“I don’t know,” he croaked, not caring how pathetic his voice sounded in the walls of the motel room. “I think I am. I mean, all of this is going to get me where I’ve always wanted to go.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Haru breathed. Rin’s heart stopped as he heard the raven-haired boy roll over. Don’t turn around, don’t roll over, he chanted to himself, although all he wanted to do was burrow in Haru’s arms behind him. “Are you happy right now?”

Rin opened his mouth, then closed it. It wasn’t a simple answer. He had so much that was positive in his life, like being Capitan of Samezuka, all the feedback he had received from colleges, and of course, his rekindled friendships with the Iwatobi swim club. Even now, originally tense from sharing a bed with Haru, he found himself more relaxed and at peace than he had felt in a while. Just talking about his lack of sleep was releasing some of the constant stress he carried. Maybe by acknowledging the issue, he could try and change some parts of his life that could give him more time to simply exist without having to be working constantly. 

“I’m happy right now,” he said, smiling softly. “Here. I was excited for this trip not just to see the meet, Haru, but to get away from everything for a while.” And to spend time with you, he thought, but kept the sentiment to himself. “You drive me crazy, but talking with you is making this seem a lot less overwhelming. So…thank you, Haru.”

Rin was quiet again for a few moments before a question slipped out of its own will. “Is this normal? To be putting so much work in for something I love, but it makes everything else suck?”

“No,” Haru whispered, “But it happens to some people. You care about something so much it can make you neglect other parts of your life that you forget you need, too.” 

Rin nodded, biting his lip. He hadn’t thought of it that way before. Although swimming was the way to his future success, he should feel some happiness in the present moment. Right now, he needed to get into college, but also to make memories with his friends, to be a normal teenager, and arguably most importantly, he needed to sleep.

That point was never more empathized as a huge yawn broke through him. Rin burrowed into his pillow contently. He could afford to be selfish and cut back on his routine for this, he thought as he made himself more comfortable. His foot touched something solid as he adjusted, and he froze, remembering Haru’s earlier dig about his foot temperature. “Need me to move?” he asked quietly, smirking beneath the duvet.

He felt Haru stiffen, then tsk. “No, it’s fine,” he whispered eventually. “Goodnight.” Rin echoed his statement, allowing the raven another greedy tug of the duvet before he drifted to sleep, more relaxed than he had felt in months.


	4. A First Step to Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone reading!! I'm really enjoying writing this fic, and hopefully I'll have the remaining chapters up lickety split. I hope you all are enjoying as well and as eager for these boys to find happiness as I am!! I'm leovaldezcalypso on Tumblr if you wanna chat!

Rin woke up to discolored sunlight burning his half-closed eyes. Grunting, he brought a hand to his forehead to shield against it. Really, he didn’t know why he had thought to leave the blinds open last night. He had been too tired to remember that minor detail, all his focus on not acting stupid around Haru. At the thought of his raven-haired crush, Rin shut his eyes, both to shut out the brightness of the room and the memories of his talk with Haru the night before. He replayed every sleep-deprived comment he remembered, feeling completely exposed at his openness. He hated feeling vulnerable. He hated that Haru had to be the one to comfort him, when he had survived on his own so many times before. Why was this happening to him now, when he needed to be steady and focused more than ever?

Suddenly, Rin felt something tickle his left ear. Instantly, his whole body went rigid. Coming more to his senses, he became aware of a warm blanket-like presence behind him, and another tickling sensation against his cheek. He was suddenly very awake. Craning his neck very slowly, he looked over his shoulder to see Haru’s sleeping form nestled tightly against Rin’s back.

His jaw fell comically. It took everything in him not to unleash a cry of total shock. Flicking his eyes over Haru quickly, he realized the warmth he had woken up to was from leaning into Haru’s (still completely bare!) torso. Rin flinched when he realized the warmth on his legs was one of Haru’s legs sandwiched between in his own. He looked back up to Haru’s face and watched the raven-haired man’s breaths fall in a calm pattern of sleep. His eyes widened at the strange angle of Haru’s arm, finally noticing how it was draped over his shoulder, resting gently across Rin’s hip. Turning, he buried his face in the pillow, muffling a scream. Was Haru trying to kill him?

Rin had no idea what to do. Clearly, they had wound up like this in their sleep—probably because Haru was so cold, he thought, nearly rolling his eyes. If he didn’t move, Haru would wake up very confused at their position, maybe even blaming Rin for wanting to get cozy. He narrowed his eyes at the idea. Rin had absolutely no desire to get in a fight with Haru over who initiated their unconscious spooning, especially because his subconscious (ridden with annoyingly romantic Haru-centered dreams) would not be totally innocent. He had to get away from him.

Rin sighed, analyzing Haru’s arm placement and trying to derive a strategy to duck under it without waking the raven. Wincing, he started to shimmy away from Haru slightly. With no sounds from Haru showing that he had stirred, Rin continued to inch away, hissing quietly at the abrupt loss of warmth when he eased away from Haru’s chest completely. Still, as much as he would love to stay cocooned in Haru’s warmth, Rin would rather freeze in the unheated motel than make Haru feel uncomfortable. 

He had just reached the edge of the mattress—far enough that only Haru’s pale hand remained limp against Rin’s skin—when he felt cold fingers tighten against his shoulder. He froze instantly, curses spewing wildly in his head for waking up Haru AND getting caught in their position. However, his heart dropped in the next instant as Haru’s hand fumbled for a hold on Rin’s shoulder. He barely breathed when his fingers tightened around his clavicle, and he stopped breathing entirely as he felt himself being tugged backwards. All protests against the practicality of their situation flew out of his mind as his back hit Haru’s warm chest, warm arms enveloping him tightly into place. 

Questions were swimming in Rin’s head—namely, am I still dreaming?—but Rin could feel Haru’s warm, sleepy breath against his ear and was all too aware of the feel of their bodies to know it was real. Briefly, he pondered trying to sneak away again, but Haru sighed in his sleep, the noise so adorable and comforting he gave in to the raven’s unconscious demands. He let himself indulge in their peaceful state for a few minutes, even shutting his eyes as he subtly nuzzled closer, slotting his head underneath Haru’s chin. Right when he had almost slipped back into sleep, however, his phone’s sudden persistent buzzing snapped him out of the reverie. Grumbling, he eased away from Haru again, this time lifting his arm away from him, before reaching for his phone on the nightstand. The vibration was for some meaningless notification—the only person he wanted to snapchat probably didn’t know how to download the app—but his eyes widened as they caught the time. “Haru,” he said groggily, turning and shaking the raven’s shoulder with his free hand. “Wake up, we’re really late.”

“Mmph,” Haru mumbled intelligibly, burrowing deeper into the bed. Rin groaned and jostled him harder.

“We’re gonna be late, mackerel-brain!” He bristled louder. When Haru remained lying as tranquil and unaffected as ever, he huffed, pushing himself off the bed harshly. “Whatever. I’m showering. You better be up when I’m done.”

He briskly stomped to the bathroom, showering with the crappy motel shampoo in five minutes. After he raked a towel over his wet hair, he tied it around his waist before stepping back into the room. He was met with wide blue eyes, as Haru was now standing with his shirt half-on at the foot of the bed, frozen. 

“Enjoy your rest, Sleeping Beauty?” Rin bit out, storming past him to get clothes from his duffel bag. Haru didn’t respond, but that was typical. He snorted. “Don’t be so loud in the morning, Haru,” he muttered to himself wryly. Digging through his bag, he pulled out the first outfit he could put together. When he reached for his water bottle, usually held comfortably in the side pocket, he frowned, feeling nothing but empty mesh.

He knew that he brought it—maybe he had left it in the car? “Haru, have you seen my water bottle?” he asked, turning around. He was still standing with his shirt half-on. When he met Haru’s blue eyes, the raven quickly turned his head to the side and stared at the floor. The motion was strange for him, Rin thought. He knew Haru wasn’t the biggest fan of eye contact, but he was never that quick to look away before. Also, it was strange that he been looking at Rin to begin with. Even in conversation, Haru was always one to look anywhere but the people around him—why had he been watching Rin then?

Rin narrowed his eyes as he watched his friend. Haru was now looking very transfixed with the floorboards. His eyes widened as he noticed the soft pink dusting Haru’s cheeks. It had to be the shit motel lighting, Rin tried to reason, even as his stomach clenched. He can’t actually be blushing because he was looking at me…

All romantic thoughts vanished when he saw what was at Haru’s feet. “Oi, why do you have that?!” he yelled, stomping over and snatching up the water bottle. Haru remained as impassive as ever and Rin growled. 

“I wanted some water,” Haru said calmly. He tilted his head slightly further away from Rin, almost facing the wall. From this close, it almost looked like he was more flushed than before. Rin bristled, storming back to the other side of the room to get dressed. As if he was flustered because of me, he thought. It was probably just embarrassment for getting caught drinking from my bottle. He shook his head at the raven’s water addiction. 

They quipped back and forth about the dangers of sharing water bottles—“I wasn’t saying I had germs, dammit, just that you could get sick if you used other people’s drinks!”—and soon, the pair was dressed and checking out of the motel. Rin’s mind was whirling with a thousand things as he handed their key over—if they would make it to the meet in time, how their car was going to get fixed, what to do about college and his scheduling—but as mundane as it was, he couldn’t help but come back to the sight of Haru looking at him, blushing when he was caught, the feel of Haru pulling him back to snuggle, his arms tight around his shoulders. It’s just a fluke, he chanted to himself. Fluke, fluke, fluke. But a quieter, braver part of him was starting to whisper—what if it wasn’t?

*

“You’re kidding me.”

Haru shrugged, his gaze drifting to the side. “Oi, asshole, look me in the eyes when you’re telling me this!” Rin demanded. Sighing, the raven’s head reluctantly rolled back to meet Rin’s scowl. The redhead had his arms crossed, the two standing as if having a showdown in the parking lot after Rin had inspected the car’s “problem” for itself.

“There was a flashing light,” Haru supplied weakly, his eyes dropping from Rin’s unconsciously. Rin’s heart clenched both from anger at his lack of eye contact in that moment and the slight heartache of his reulctance to meet his eyes ordinarily. “And it did stop.”

“Yeah, because cars do that when they’re OUT OF GAS!”

Before the pair had tried taking the car to a repair shop, Rin insisted he inspected it first. He figured out the crisis Haru had endured the night before in mere seconds of turning on the vehicle. While he was very relieved there wasn’t anything terribly wrong with the car, he was very horrified at Haru’s incompetence. 

Haru’s impassive look turned to a subtle frown. “I didn’t know what the light meant,” he mumbled. Rin inhaled sharply. At the sound, Haru’s head jerked up, narrowed eyes flashing. “Don’t be a jerk! I was trying to keep you safe!”

Rin’s scowl deepened, though his heart clenched at how upset he had made Haru. And he did have a point—the gas only ran out because Rin had been sleeping, something he hadn’t been able to give himself without Haru’s insistence. Although his instinct (built from years of fighting Haru) told him to snap back, he forced his grimace to soften and his arms to loosen. “Yeah, I’m sorry,” he supplied weakly, not meeting Haru’s gaze. “It’s not your fault, I should’ve checked the gas before we left.”

He heard Haru snort and figured it was the closest thing to an acceptance of his apology. He continued, “Hey, wait here. I’ll run to the station to get the gas.”

At the silence that followed, Rin thought they were in agreement, but just as he eased his duffel off his shoulder, Haru burst out, “No. I’ll go, since it ran out with me driving.”

Visions of Haru attempting to explain their situation to an innocent gas station employee bombarded Rin. “You will not! It’s my car anyways.”

“It’s your mom’s car.”

“Whatever!” Rin was scowling again. Figures. He tried to be nice to Haru for one moment, got too caught up in the butterflies and fondness, and the raven responded by being more difficult. He realized it could be easier this way—falling back on their usual banter instead of reaching for soft moments that would never be as significant for Haru as they were for Rin. He smirked, a new idea forming. Cocking his head back, he drawled, “I’d get there faster, anyways.”

Haru’s typically calm expression shifted into something else, and Rin felt a jolt of electricity down his spine. “Whatever,” he mumbled, but his eyes said, I’ll win every time. Rin knew his reflected the same sentiment. Two parking lot races later, Haru was pouring gas into the car while Rin was ranting wildly about Haru’s social etiquette and vowing for another rematch. Rin huffed as he slammed his back against the car, irked at their tardiness and how the trip hadn’t gone to their plans. But Haru’s tiny smile as he filled the tank that he caught out of the corner of his eye made him feel like something was going right.

The next hour and a half went by too quickly and too slowly for Rin. Between their brief arguments about Rin’s driving speed, how many extra points a yellow car was worth in their impromptu traffic game, and of course, the quality of Rin’s music selection, their trip seemed to end almost too soon. However, the latter part of their drive dragged for Rin. He was constantly raking a hand through his hair in agony as Haru’s preppy songs chorused on and on. While Rin had been focused on merging into another lane, Haru decided to switch their CDs, chucking the redhead’s in the backseat. When Rin finally pulled into the sports complex parking lot, punching the button to finally silence the blaring J-Pop music that would undoubtedly still be looping in his head, he was very grateful that they had arrived. 

The pair was shocked to be given special passes at the check-in booth, evidently so university coaches knew they were eligible in case they wanted to speak with the coaches or swimmers. In between races, they made their way to seats that were higher up but had a better view of all the lanes. Sliding onto the metal bleacher next to Haru, Rin jostled the raven’s shoulder slightly. “It looks like we only missed some qualifying rounds. We’ll even be able to catch the 50m free prelims.”

Haru was staring at the pool. (Typical). When he didn’t comment further, Rin sighed, turning to face the swimmers himself. He watched the athletes jog to their starting positions, pinpointing members of a few top universities. As they set themselves on the blocks, Rin tried to envision himself here in a year’s time—what uniform would he want to be wearing? His preferences changed as the races went on and on. When a swimmer in dark blue won the butterfly, his school’s stands erupting in chants, Rin had thought he was swayed. But after the next race, he was suddenly yearning to train with the orange team who had broken the meet record. By the time the last prelim had finished, he had no idea who he was cheering for. 

He felt something warm press against his thigh and was brought back to reality. Turning, he saw Haru holding two kebabs. He immediately thrust one into Rin’s hands. “You need to eat. We didn’t have breakfast, and you look really sick.”

Rin frowned. “I’m not sick,” he muttered, snatching up the kabob. 

“If you say so,” Haru mumbled, taking a bite out of his food to end the conversation.

The redhead pursed his lips. Haru must’ve been seeing things, the water clouding his brain if he thought Rin was genuinely sick. Still…maybe he hadn’t been as covert in his musings over which college to choose. He felt something annoyingly fuzzy at the notion that Haru could tell he was stressed, followed immediately by guilt that he was unable to do the same, to read the raven as easily as he knew Haru could for him. Moreover, he was overwhelmed that Haru had not only recognized something off about him, but that he was trying to help. He couldn’t help but think this was more than just Haru wanting some mackerel.

“Haru,” he breathed, not looking at him, “Thank you. I really…I really appreciate it.”

He heard Haru chewing, then pause. “You’re welcome.” They fell into easy quiet—Haru chewing, Rin still staring at the pool, when Haru interrupted, “Have you tasted it yet?”

Rin rolled his eyes. He supposed he was hungry, but his taste buds usually opposed that of the other swimmer’s. Picking up the kebab, he grumbled, “I don’t see what’ll make this more special than any other fish—” he trailed off, his eyes widening as the taste registered. He whipped his head to Haru, calmly eating and watching the swimmers as if something groundbreaking hadn’t just happened.

“H-haru,” he started, “This is meat. You bought me meat?”

The raven shrugged, still not looking at Rin. “You said if we had mackerel you wouldn’t come on the trip.”

Sure, he had said it, but he never thought that it would be a possibility. Truth be told, Rin knew full well that he would do anything to make Haru happy, even if it meant fish restaurants for every meal on their trip. He expected that…yet Haru had again done something extra to make Rin happy. “You know you didn’t have to do that. I was joking,” he said, trying to keep the smile off his face.

“I know, Rin. I wanted to,” Haru stated, simple and honest. The notion made Rin’s heart swell. He hid his stupid grin by chowing down on the kebab, and soon, Haru was throwing away their empty skewers. When he slid back into his seat, Haru’s thigh bumped against Rin’s, and the redhead went entirely rigid. He felt his stomach plummet as his body registered the contact. Haru’s leg seemed to be emanating so much warmth, made worse as a furious blush began to cover Rin’s entire face. He desperately tried to even his breathing. Looking out of the corner of his eye, he saw Haru watching the swimmers, looking completely oblivious to the panic he was causing Rin. Haru shifted slightly, but he made no move to pull his leg away. Rin stared evenly at the swimmers, too, trying to keep his face impassive. Trying not to think about the feel of Haru’s well-defined calves pressing against his…

He let out a long, desperate breath and prayed that Haru had been too transfixed on the water to notice. He debated shifting away himself, but he was too weak for even this slight amount of contact. Rationally, he knew that this was a very normal thing for friends to do, but physical contact from Haru was rare for anyone. Rin was well aware, however, that his irrelevant crush was making the touch into something way bigger than it was. He released another long breath and relaxed his shoulders, attempting to focus on the current race. But then he felt the side of a shoe press against his and his breath hitched sharply.

“Matsuoka? Nanase?”

The barked question snapped Rin out of his crushing haze with a brutal slam. Right—he was here for scouting, not for romantic fantasies. To his right, he noticed two older gentlemen with coaching jackets on. Immediately, he stood, distancing his stance from Haru’s before moving into a bow.

When he shifted up again, the gentleman who had called to them shook his hand. “It’s very nice to finally meet you. Our coaching staff, as well as many other universities, have been very invested in watching your progress this season.”

“Thank you, sir,” Rin said, dipping his head in a slight bow. Haru remained silent next to him. Rin desperately wondered what was going through the raven’s mind. He had never brought up his college preferences to Rin (or college swimming at all) before the trip. He was dying to know if he had any top choices that worried him, or if he was as undecided as Rin was. Moreover, he wanted to know so he could support Haru in any way that he needed to, even if it meant supporting his choice to pick a school Rin would never attend.

Rin’s gaze slid back to the coaches in front of them as they proceeded to give the pair their university’s selling points. From the program they outlined, as well as the good performances the team had given already in the meet, Rin was definitely interested. Still, they never mentioned scholarship prospects, departing with only a “Good luck to you both! We’ll keep our eyes on you.” The memory of a letter with commas and zeroes drew Rin out of the present into more worries about what accepting that offer would bring, interrupted only by Haru elbowing him sharply.

“You looked sick again,” he said. Once Rin answered him with a huff, he turned back to watching the race, but Rin continued to watch Haru, feeling something off. Haru wasn’t looking like his typical impassive self, Rin noticed abruptly. Leaning forward, he rested his head in his head on his knuckles, studying his former teammate. Yet again, he wondered what Haru was thinking about the scouts. He was never much of a talker, especially to strangers, so his interactions with them had been unsurprising. What was concerning, however, was how his eyebrows were pinched together, even as his attention turned back to the pool.

He jostled his shoulder against the raven’s, earning him an annoyed huff. When bored blue eyes slid to his, he asked, “What did you think of them?” Haru snorted again, his gaze going back to the swimmers. Still, Rin remained focused on him, understanding this way of conversation. 

Eventually, Haru breathed out, “I didn’t like the training he mentioned.”

Rin smiled softly to himself, quickly covering the fond expression with a smirk. “What, the land training? I know you love the water, Haru, but it can help you swim better.”

Haru’s jaw clenched. He didn’t think the raven would respond, but he mumbled quietly, “Training differently isn’t what makes me better.”

Rin snorted. “Then what’s your improved training regimen then, Haru?”

Slowly, he turned away from the swimmers, his deep blue eyes making total contact with Rin’s. “Who I’m swimming with,” he said. Then he turned away. Rin felt his heart pounding in his chest, hoping that his face wasn’t as red as he feared. He gulped, whipping his head back to the pool to avoid Haru catching his blush, but could’ve sworn he saw the tips of Haru’s ears were pink as well.

Before he had time to unpack his thoughts, the coaches of two more teams approached. Rin talked for both of them, fielding their questions about their preferred strokes and training styles. He continued to do so as more coaches came and went, relaying Haru’s personal answers by translating the raven’s nods. After what felt like years of fake smiles and internal panicking, the last of the coaches left to watch the last race of the day. Once they were far enough down the bleacher stairs, Rin sighed, nearly collapsing on the metal bench. He looked over to Haru and nearly fell over for real. He was staring off into the distance with his head propped up by his hand with the same unnatural expression he had worn earlier with the first coaches. It was almost like he was worried, too. Rin’s stomach dropped at the idea. Silently, he eased closer to him on their bench.

How could he approach this? He didn’t want to push Haru to share more than he wanted to. However, he clearly looked upset, or as worried as Rin had ever seen him. He completely understood and expected Haru to be reluctant to share his college worries—heck, he was a total oversharer and he wasn’t able to talk about it with himself. He decided to start with simpler questions, and hope that he could glean how Haru was feeling from those. 

However, he didn’t want to do this here, with bystanders and swimmers buzzing all around. He reached out and tugged Haru’s shirt sleeve lightly (the fabric just as unfairly soft as he envisioned). He felt Haru’s arm stiffen at the contact, the slight warmth of his skin making his fingers feel on fire.

He opened his mouth to say something intelligent—maybe, we should discuss the coaches’ pitches, which ones did you like?—but nothing came out, leaving him gaping like a fish. Those damn blue eyes were too distracting, as was the alarming fact Haru hadn’t pulled his arm away from Rin’s touch. Swallowing, he tried again. “Haru,” he began, grappling for some coherent sentence like “can we talk about the pitches in the car?” or “I think the second university would be a good fit for you, what do you think?” Instead, he blurted out, “Let’s get dinner.”

He was surprised his heart was still beating after the words tumbled out of his mouth. Internally, he was cursing himself mercilessly. He was supposed to be finding a way to talk to Haru about his emotions about college, not nearly ask him on a date! His only comfort was that there was no way Haru would see this as romantic—after all, they had eaten meals together many times before. The only thing that made this different was Rin’s crush, magnifying his awkward phrasing into a huge crisis. For instance, Rin was now convinced that Haru knew he wanted it to be a date and would never speak to him again. He was trying his best to not look horrified at his mistake when Haru responded. “Sure,” he said, facing Rin with a soft smile. Then, he stood up, his thigh brushing Rin’s briefly creating another minor panic for the redhead. However, when he was following Haru like a lost puppy out of the stadium, Rin stomped out all cheesy romantic inklings about the evening. His personal stake in Haru’s college choice was irrelevant. What mattered now was that he would support Haru in any way he could. After all, he would do anything to see Haru’s impassive face over his worried one. His romantic feelings would never be as important as being a good friend to him. And when he saw Haru’s eyes twinkle in the reflection of the mackerel restaurant’s OPEN sign, he knew with complete certainty he was right about that.


	5. A Blinding Misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey friends! This chapter is a bit of a mess so I hope you bear with me. I struggled writing this A LOT and I'm pretty sure it's the longest chapter by far so I hope it's everything y'all wanted it to be. IMPORTANT NOTE: Canonically speaking, this takes place after Rin and Haru's fight in Season 2, so that's what Haru's referring to with "what you said" about him pursuing swimming as a career.
> 
> Also, I made a playlist on Spotify for this fic, which I will link here: https://open.spotify.com/user/natisrapunzel/playlist/2ponJWKOPDkS265mFHQyhI?si=QNbgs3gjQWKuG_7opvL_IA
> 
> I'm leovaldezcalypso on Tumblr if you wanna chat! As always, thank you so so much for reading/commenting/leaving Kudos, everything makes my day :)

Rin should’ve known the evening would be troublesome when he caught the glint in the hostess’ eye as she took in the pair of them. “Table for two?” Her voice was sweet, but the quirk of her eyebrows told Rin she couldn’t be trusted. He couldn’t explain it, but her smirk had him on edge as they followed her to a booth in the corner. He nearly fell off the cliff when she winked at them after handing them the menus. “You boys have a good meal now,” she chirped, sashaying away.

He opened the menu harsher than necessary for a paper pamphlet. “She was…” He struggled to find the best word to explain it. “…Chirpy.” 

Haru didn’t say anything, for which Rin was immensely grateful. His thoughts were a swirling spiral of horror at how even a complete stranger could somehow see how Rin felt about Haru. To him, her mannerisms indicated that the two were on a date. He could only pray Haru hadn’t caught on; he couldn’t stomach talking about that insinuation. Even though he knew what the answer would be, hearing it from Haru’s lips would kill the small hopes he had for their relationship. So he stewed by staring daggers at the menu, trying to stop looking at Haru out of the corner of his eye and the small smile on his lips.

Thankfully, they had a different waiter, and Rin’s earlier tension dissipated slightly as he left with their orders. Now alone again, he watched Haru shift in the booth across from him. His blue eyes seemed deeper and more uncharted than before just staring at the wooden table. Rin brought his chin to his palm, thinking. Haru always seemed so far away. He wanted to know everything Haru was thinking, but moreover, he wanted Haru to feel known, like Haru had done for him. How was he even going to start? 

He figured maybe he could ask him casually about some colleges. After all, his casual question the night before had gotten Rin to open up. Rin really hoped it would be the same. If anything, he wanted to return the favor that Haru had granted him of easing his mind, even slightly, of the stress that was weighing on him.

“So, that last team that talked to us,” he said breezily, running a hand through his hair. “I thought they acted a little cockier than they performed, don’t you think?”

Haru didn’t look at him. From this angle, Rin thought he was picking at the corners of the table. “They were alright,” he said. Rin’s mind whirled. Alright for Haru could be seen as a compliment, but he still looked perplexed. He wanted to push further.

He reached for his water. “Yeah? They did have some good times in free,” he commented. He was intently studying Haru’s response from across the glass.

“They were bad at butterfly, though,” Haru said. Rin was surprised when he continued. “And their land program was kind of smaller.”

Rin couldn’t help but grin evilly at the comments. “Here I was, thinking you didn’t value strength training programs.”

Haru scowled, shifting in the cushions. “Whatever.”

After a beat of silence, Rin set down the water and continued his sleuthing. “What about the team before them?” Personally, he had found the second to last team one of the most compelling offers. Not only did they have an incredible record of sending their athletes to the national team, but talking to the team members, the campus environment seemed totally Rin’s style. While swimming was his passion, he did love a good rom-com, and the swimmers had told him that in addition to small family-run shops that dotted the main campus street, there was a quaint, well-loved theatre at the end of the campus block. Evidently, it held romantic film marathons in February (maybe he had researched this more thoroughly when they had left), and a well-organized library where you could rent private rooms to study (which he would greatly appreciate if he was cursed with another messy roommate). Overall, the atmosphere he had gotten from the representatives was focused academically and athletically, but also had the unique, homey feeling he felt in Iwatobi. Because of that, it was one of the strongest contenders against Australia. So maybe bringing them up to Haru had been a selfish call, trying to put the idea of him attending into his mind to sway Rin’s own college decision. Either way, he was deeply curious.

“I guess their program seemed nice,” he said. Rin stifled a grin. “They were intense, but they all seemed really close.”

“They could be a good relay team, eh?” he asked, smiling deviously. As expected, Haru huffed and looked away, annoyed at Rin’s childish jibe to his former reluctance to race as a team. He schooled his expression into something less vile as an apology. “Seriously, though, did you like them?”

Haru stared down at his lap. “I said it seemed nice, didn’t I?”

This time, Rin couldn’t contain his grin. In the next instant, however, his expression fell, remembering a conversation he had with Makoto. “But you don’t want to go far away for school, right?”

From across the table, he could see Haru stiffen, and Rin immediately cursed himself. He had pushed too far, or read too much into what Haru was thinking that he didn’t want him to know. Rin was contemplating all the ways he had steered their conversation wrong when he heard Haru speak up. “Not completely,” he said evenly, seemingly transfixed by the table between them. “It depends. I’d go pretty far to keep swimming the best I can.”

Rin coughed, blindly reaching for his water. He had to be reading too deeply into Haru’s training preferences. Earlier, when he mentioned other swimmers making him better…he could’ve meant his teammates, but irrationally, Rin had become convinced he meant competing against him. If that was true, was Haru saying he wanted to follow Rin? He swallowed painfully, almost coughing up the water and setting the glass down brashly. There’s no way, Rin thought. No way I’d be that lucky.

Right then, two steaming plates were sat in front of them: Haru with mackerel, Rin with the only meat item on the menu. Eagerly, he started eating, grateful for the distraction from Haru’s comment. Still, he couldn’t help but sneak another glance at the swimmer across from him. He expected Haru to be halfway done with his fish already, or staring at the filet longingly. He was completely shocked to see the raven typing something out on his phone.

“Oi, since when did you learn how to use that?” Rin barked. Haru flinched, clearly surprised that he had been caught. As was typical, he didn’t meet Rin’s eyes, instead finishing his typing and setting his phone face-down on the table.

“I was texting Makoto,” he said by way of explanation. Rin tried not to be too hurt that Haru seemed to be well-versed at using the technology to talk to Makoto when he rarely responded to Rin. He reminded himself that Makoto was his best friend, and it was definitely normal for him to keep in touch with him when he was away. He was clearly overreacting. 

However, he couldn’t keep the words from tumbling out of his mouth as he asked, “Do you guys text a lot?”

This got Haru’s eyes to flick to his immediately, wide and confused. He looked tense, as if he could pierce through Rin’s front and saw all the hidden insecurities and tangled romantic feelings. Slowly, he said, “I guess. He was asking about the trip.”

Rin nodded, quickly turning his attention back to his food to avoid Haru questioning why he was so curious. However, he had no such luck. Just as he had shoveled a large bite into his mouth, Haru said evenly, “Why did you want to know?”

He nearly choked on the filet. Not meeting Haru’s gaze, he swallowed the food harshly and grabbed for his water. “I don’t care,” he tried to emphasize, laughing humorously until it sounded obviously fake. “I’m just glad you finally learned how to use that damned thing. It’ll sure as hell be a lot easier to get in contact with you about joint practices, heh.” His throat nearly seized at his last comment. He hadn’t meant to say that. His heartbeat quickened, thoughts spiraling. He was trying so hard not to mention anything about his electronic contact (or lack thereof) with Haru, and now…

He risked a glance up at Haru and immediately regretted it. His eyes bored into Rin’s with terrifying clarity. Rin was certain he was found out. “So you’re asking if I know how to use my phone, why I don’t text you back,” he said simply. Rin’s cheeks went up in flames.

“No!” he hissed. “I—I don’t care about that stuff.” He poked forcefully at his food.

“Yes you do. You like to talk to people.” Haru turned his head to the side. “You want them to talk back. You’re kind of clingy.”

Rin’s eyes narrowed. “Look. Just because I value having conversations with the people I message doesn’t make me clingy,” He cringed out the last word. “It makes me a normal person! Who likes having normal conversations!”

Haru stayed looking to the side. “I—” he started, but snapped his mouth shut. Rin picked at his food again. Whatever. He told himself he didn’t care that Haru’s fabled incompetence with technology was clearly a lie. It’s not as if his feelings for Rin would be any different. He shoved another bite in his mouth.

“It’s not like I don’t want to talk to you.” 

Rin’s head snapped up. Haru was staring to the side as usual, except his shoulders were tense, his typical impassive expression disrupted by his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes. He breathed out once before continuing. “It’s…nice talking to you. Just, you can be a lot sometimes.”

“A lot,” Rin echoed. He didn’t know what to make of anything that had just been said. His heart hammered from Haru’s words—he thought he was nice to talk to. Rationally, he knew that as friends, they should find it nice to speak to each other. But from Haru, the verbal affirmation felt like something much more significant than something their relationship entailed. 

Then again, he said that he was “a lot.” Meaning, that Haru, too, felt like the many people who found Rin’s emotional outbursts—positive and negative—to be too much to handle all of the time. He couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt at the realization that the person who had helped him find peace in his current turbulent emotions, who had helped him find peace with his emotions a year ago, still saw him as being easily overpowered by them. Moreover, the notion that his emotional nature was a weak part of his personality hurt Rin further. Sure, his feelings sometimes impeded his progress and messed everything up (his feelings for Haru a case in point). However, he wouldn’t want to be severed from them. He’d rather feel everything as deeply as he did, even face the scrutiny from onlookers when he walked out of a romcom in tears, than not feel anything at all. Even when they impeded him, his emotions were a fundamental part of him, one that he wouldn’t dream of changing. Maybe it was too much for people to handle. But it was him. He really hoped that Haru would appreciated that side of him.

“Are you okay?” Haru asked. Unwillingly, his eyes flicked to Haru, shocked to find the raven staring back at him, his eyebrows bunched together. Rin nodded, setting his chopsticks down. Before he could get swept up in thought, the waiter arrived with the check. Soon, they had paid and were standing on the sidewalk. Rin shivered, tucking his arms across his chest. While they were eating, the sun had set, and with the beauty of the night sky came a sudden chill that the redhead hadn’t anticipated. He yearned to go to the car and crank the heating before speeding to the hotel and sleeping away his pesky feelings. But as he took a step off the curb towards the car, Haru gripped his shoulder. “Wait.”

Despite the confusion, being torn with wanting to be there for Haru and being hurt, Rin complied. Haru gripped his shoulder harshly, his fingers digging into his shirt’s thin material. With a gentle tug, Rin allowed himself to be turned around to face the raven. Annoyingly, Haru was taller than Rin from his position on the curb. He had to tilt his head up to meet his gaze. 

Haru opened his mouth, then closed it. Rin waited. The raven glanced to the side. “Can we go for a walk?”

Instantly, Rin was ready to argue the idea. Hell, he was already a little upset with Haru, so why the heck shouldn’t he start something? He wanted to bring up the cold, or checking into their hotel, or even the necessity of sleep for him specifically. But the lights reflected in Haru’s eyes were stupidly mesmerizing him. Moreover, in the lights, Rin could swear Haru still looked worried. He remembered his earlier vow to get Haru to open up about his college choices. They had gotten somewhere at dinner, but maybe something was still bothering him that he hadn’t mentioned. Even if he was feeling more closed off than ever, Rin still wanted Haru to talk to him about his worries. Plus, maybe Haru would be more inclined to speak now that Rin knew to shut the hell up.

He nodded. “Sure,” he breathed. He told himself Haru’s quiet sigh was a trick of his hearing.

*

Rin rubbed his hands up and down his arms, trying to keep out the chill. He huffed out a long sigh. They had been walking down the street of the restaurant for a while now in silence. The shops seemed like an endless array of lights and colors around them. He snuck a glance at Haru, whose brow was still knit in a way that concerned Rin even though he wished he wasn’t. The silence was drowning them both, but Rin was too petty to break it after Haru’s comment. Without his entertaining commentaries, they would both have to suffer, then. 

“What’s your favorite color?”

Rin looked at Haru out of the corner of his eye to make sure it was in fact him who had spoken. He wore the same contemplative expression as he had seconds ago, so it could’ve just been the wind. However, his blue eyes met Rin’s the instant he caught Rin looking, and the redhead knew it hadn’t been his imagination. He was a little floored that Haru would ask something so random yet personal about him. He smiled softly to himself.

“That’s a little random, Haru,” he chuckled. “I guess…red?” He replied, unsure. He felt strongly about a lot of things, but colors were not one of them. “What about you? Let me guess—”

“Blue,” they both responded at the same time. When their eyes met, Rin smiled in earnest, even knocking their shoulders together lightly. Maybe he was being too crestfallen about a random observation. Just because Haru thought he could be too much didn’t mean he didn’t value him as a person. It only further emphasized the impossibility that they could ever have a romantic relationship, much to Rin’s heartache. He stuffed it down with his smile, with the feeling of getting lost in Haru’s blue eyes before they flicked away.

“It’s like the water,” Haru explained, and Rin snorted. “Like swimming. I always want—” he trailed off, and Rin’s eyebrows bunched together. 

“You do really want to always be swimming, then,” Rin mumbled, not asking the raven for confirmation. Still, he watched Haru purse his lips and nod in response. The redhead smiled to himself. “That’s great, Haru. I think it’ll make you really happy.”

“Don’t worry that it’s because of you,” Haru said quickly, causing Rin to almost stumble in their walk. “Because of what you said. I think you’d worry about that, so don’t. I want to do this for me.” 

Rin had never both hated and loved being known so well. He didn’t even remember the last time someone had instantly pinpointed his mental processes and ensured him he didn’t have to worry about it. His heart warmed despite his mind’s caution. “So, have you figured out where you wanna swim?” He asked.

Haru shrugged. “Wherever the water calls me,” he said casually, as if it was a normal response.

He laughed. “And how are you gonna figure that out? Try every one of their pools?” The look on Haru’s face said that Rin’s insinuation was a hundred percent correct, and Rin rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how I’m surprised.”

A beat of silence passed before Haru spoke. “There’s something else.” His voice was slightly over a whisper. Rin turned to look at him, urging him to continue. “That’ll help me choose. I told you earlier.”

Rin wracked his brain. He had talked about his loath of land training, but as far as programs he had liked… “You want to swim where you’ll swim your best,” he breathed. His heart was pounding out of his chest at the memory, the slight hope of that meaning they would be swimming together again.

Haru nodded. “After I decided I wanted to swim, it all became pretty simple.”

Rin didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Instead, he released a sound that was a cringey mix of both. Good for Haru, he supposed, that his choice was so cut and dry. He was no closer to choosing a school—he was no closer to even starting to think about them seriously. Shoving away the reminder, he was brought back to the memory of Haru’s perplexed expression before their walk began. His own forehead creased in confusion. “So if you’re not stressed about choosing a college, why did you look upset earlier?”

Haru’s eyes widened. He turned his head further away from Rin’s prying gaze, mumbling something too quiet for the redhead to catch. Then his head shifted slightly back in Rin’s direction. “It’s—don’t worry about it.”

Rin’s chest ached. “Haru…” He looked away, ashamed. “I know we aren’t that close anymore, but I really hope…” he trailed off, looking up at the raven with what was undoubtedly a pathetic, tooth-rotting expression. “I want you to know you can tell me anything.”

He sighed. Then he spoke so quiet he almost missed it. “This is what I meant.”  
“What you…meant?” Rin’s expression turned quizzical. 

“What you just said,” Haru said, now scowling, but somehow still looking adorable with his lips in a pout. They had stopped walking, standing under a low-reaching band of lights. “You say these things and it’s so much. It’s a lot for me.”

Rin’s eyes widened. Haru was saying the same thing he had in the restaurant…but not in the horrific way Rin had automatically interpreted. Instead…

“You say these sappy things that are ridiculous. You’re like this,” Haru mumbled, not meeting his eyes but pointing at the shop lights. The bright, blinding lights that were hurting their eyes. The lights that they both thought were beautiful. Rin felt his eyes starting to water and he desperately tried to shove the tears down. Haru gestured to the shops as a whole. “There’s so much inside you, and it hurts to see all at once.”

He nodded numbly. This couldn’t be happening. This felt like…he needed to pinch himself. He almost compared this to a scene from one of his favorite romance movies! Surely that couldn’t be his life…he and Haru would never be the center of some romantic comedy. Still, unwilling or not, he felt butterflies stir in his stomach as he let himself look out at the lights, to see what Haru evidently saw inside him. They were blinding, he noticed. But they were mesmerizing and enchanting. They made the street feel magical, like Haru and him were in a whole other world simply by looking up. He never felt happier to be “a lot.”

“This is really what I’m like?” he heard himself breathe in disbelief. In his romantic comedies, this was the moment the lover confirmed their affections. Although he knew the reality of the situation, Rin found himself holding his breath nonetheless.

Haru nodded, now transfixed by the sidewalk. “So it’s hard for me to talk when—” he paused, trying to find the words. “You’re just so much.”

Rin gulped. Embarrassingly, he was starting to tear up. “I don’t mean to…” He struggled to find the words. “Overwhelm you—"

“I don’t want you to stop,” Haru snapped, briefly meeting his eyes before looking away. “And you should know…you can tell me anything, too.”

Rin was melting. There was no way he could make it back to the car, unless Haru put his liquified forms in a bucket and carried it. (Or just carried him). Unable to hold himself back, he flung an arm around Haru’s shoulder. “Haru!” He cried. “You shouldn’t say that! I didn’t want to cry tonight!”

He snorted, gently pushing back against Rin’s chest to create space between them. “Shut up. Don’t think I’m being sappy like you. You’re hiding your problems again.”

Rin felt his stomach plummet. “What are you talking about?”

Haru gave a tiny smile. “You keep asking me about college so you don’t have to think about you having to choose. Right?”

Rin’s body went rigid. Abruptly, he shoved himself off of Haru, wrapping his arms around his torso again. “What? That’s ridiculous. Don’t you think I care about you being stressed, too?”

“I know you care, Rin,” he said softly. Then, ever so gently, he rested his hand against Rin’s forearm. Rin hoped his sharp intake of breath wasn’t too noticeable, or his heart beating out of his chest. “But…I care about you, too.”

His jaw fell slack and he fumbled to regain composure before Haru noticed. However, in the next instant, the raven’s hand had withdrawn and he was turning around. “Which is why I want to head back. You need to sleep.”

He bristled about the walk being Haru’s idea to begin with, so any lack of sleep could clearly be blamed on him to begin with. But as he eased himself down into the car, his hand stilled on turning the keys. While he was undoubtedly replaying all the caring things Haru had said about him, one thing the raven had mentioned earlier still stuck in his mind. He met his friend’s confused gaze. “Haru,” he said, “Why did you ask what my favorite color was?”

He saw Haru’s hand clench the armrest of the passenger seat, his head tilting down to stare at the seat cushions. “You said you like having normal conversations,” he mumbled, and Rin’s heart clenched painfully. “That’s a normal thing friends talk about.”

Rin smiled widely. “Haru…I appreciate it,” he said. His hand drummed on the steering wheel in the quiet. He could hear their breathing. It was too hot in the car, but he couldn’t force his hand to twist the key. “But you don’t have to try to talk about normal things with me. I mean…just talking to you about anything, even if it’s a short conversation, makes me happy.” He felt his smile go sappy, knew it was probably too obvious of his feelings, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He thought that Haru should know that. 

Haru nodded, and Rin knew that it was the end of this conversation. He turned the car on and backed out until they were driving in the direction of the hotel. The city lights blurred around them. Haru read off directions, and Rin followed.

They were stopped at a traffic light when Haru said, “Rin.”

“What, Haru?” He glanced at the raven out of the corner of his eye, but with cars merging and braking all around him, his focus remained on the traffic around them.

“You’re in a nice mood,” Haru stated. Rin snorted. 

“Thanks for the observation.” He scowled as a car cut in front of him just as the light changed, probably condemning them to be stuck behind the light again.

“I’m trying to have a normal conversation.”

He really should have never said anything. 

Rin pinched his nose. “But you’re being nice,” Haru said, and the redhead nodded. “So…can we listen to Gou’s CD again?”

“Haru!”

Sometimes, he didn’t know what he saw in the raven, even though his slight head-bobbing to the music was admittingly adorable. However, the memory of Haru’s earlier words—the thought of him seeing Rin as being so much in the best way—muted the bubbly lyrics. But shockingly enough, by the time he pulled into the hotel parking lot, he found himself begrudgingly tapping his free foot to the beat. He still thought the music was shit. But he was starting to enjoy hearing the meaningless, sappy lyrics. He didn’t know what to make of that, or the lightness it caused his heart to feel.  
“Ready?” He turned to face Haru. He nodded, a ghost of a smile on his lips for a second before vanishing, and they made their way to the hotel.

*

Rin had been worried that being late by an entire day would disrupt their reservation. Sometimes, he hated that his fears were so valid. There room had been given away, but thankfully, they managed to get another one for the night, but it came with a hefty upcharge. Now, about an hour later, he had started to drift off in the plush mattress, only to be stirred by the sound of the bathroom door shutting, signaling Haru’s return to the bedroom. Images of Haru half-naked behind him didn’t help him to slip easily into sleep again. He shifted under the covers, trying to ignore the sounds of Haru getting ready for bed behind him. (At least he was making the most of their room upgrade—he had been taking a long soak in the tub that came with the expensive suite.) Rin heard Haru’s bag thump on the other bed and flinched. Yeah, sleep was not going to come remotely soon at this rate. Sighing, he rolled onto his back, slinging an arm across his forehead. It was late, and pitch dark in their room, which allowed for his thoughts to run on without any sign of stopping.

Half-asleep, he heard himself say, “Haru?”

He heard a soft noise of acknowledgement, and some rustling through his bag. Rin gulped, staring up at the darkness. “Are you with Makoto?”

The rustling stopped. Rin felt the silence like a physical weight pressing on his chest. He should’ve tried harder to go to sleep than deliriously say something so personal that would make Haru uncomfortable, just when they were getting closer.

After what felt like hours, Haru spoke. “No,” he said plainly. Rin felt slightly guilty at the happiness the confession brought him. “Why did you think that?” 

Rin sighed. “I don’t know, you talk to him a lot. You’ve been so close since we were kids. And when we’re all together, you guys, like, speak a whole other language.” His words were getting slurred with sleep, but he kept going, unable to stop. “I don’t know. I’m sorry to have assumed…anything about that.”

He wanted to go to sleep and forget this conversation even happened. However, he was startled even more awake as he felt the bed shift with Haru’s weight behind him. “You’re really dense,” Haru said, and felt the raven scoot closer until they were practically spooning. He didn’t have the energy or the emotional strength to move away. 

“Am not,” Rin mumbled into the pillow. Blindly, he tried to kick at Haru’s legs, but after a brief tousle, he found his own legs trapped securely between Haru’s. He huffed to express his discontent. “What are you doing here, anyways? We got two beds tonight.”

“You need to catch up on sleep,” Haru breathed. Then, Rin felt him shifting again. Slowly, he felt some of Haru’s heat retreat, making him all the more alert at the chilly absence. He felt as if his breathing was the loudest it had ever been in the silent room. Slowly, he noticed something pale moving towards him, angling to land over his shoulder. His eyes were now wide open. He didn’t think he breathed as he watched Haru’s arm settle gently across his bare skin. He definitely inhaled sharply as Haru tugged his torso backwards, now fully pressed against his back.

“You slept like this last night,” He said, his mouth so close to Rin he could feel the air tickle his ear. He fought down a shiver and debated again shoving away from Haru. The feeling heightened as he continued, “You were out like a baby.”

“Oi,” he sneered. “I woke up before you, Nanase.”

“Rin…” Suddenly, Haru’s warm breath against his ear was gone. Something warm was pressing against the top of his head. With a sharp jab in his chest, he realized that it was Haru’s chin tucked against his head. “Shut up. Go to sleep.”

He sighed. Goddamn Haru. Even though he had a million things to think about, he found himself obediently closing his eyes. In the back of his mind, he knew he should’ve been stressing about his Japanese exam next Tuesday, perfecting his relay transition, or the very real possibility he was going to leave his friends again to swim in a far-off land. Still, he found himself smiling into the pillow. The trip had gone awry in more ways than he had ever anticipated. He hadn’t anticipated that they would get stranded halfway to Kyoto, but neither had he ever dreamed he would wake up cuddled against Haruka Nanase. He definitely could never have dreamed his stoic crush telling him that he saw him as someone dazzling. (Ok, not his exact words, but Rin was a romantic!) He even had started the terrifying step of thinking through his college decision instead of brushing it, along with most of his other pressing responsibilities, far away and out of his mind so he could focus on swimming. Even though it had been a disorganized mess, with more downs than ups, this trip was starting to help him realize he didn’t want to be overworked anymore. He wanted more moments like driving with Haru to cherish, especially if this was their last year together before they went separate ways. This was the first time he wanted to focus on things besides swimming. And instead of feeling the guilt that always came with choosing anything over swimming, when he burrowed closer to Haru and felt the raven tighten his hold around him, he found he had never felt more content.


	6. A Sudden Rainstorm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! Hope that you all are doing well after the Season 3 premiere. This chapter has a dash of angst to be warned, good times are coming soon soon soon! Thanks as always for reading/commenting, and extra thanks to my bestie Bookobsessedwaterpoloplayer for editing! 
> 
> I'm leovaldezcalypso on Tumblr if you wanna chat (either about this or Dive to the Future!) and natisrapunzel on Spotify :)

They didn’t talk about their sleeping arrangement the next morning. Rin had woken to his alarm blaring, so startled by the noise his head jerked against Haru’s chin hard enough to wake him up. He was too focused on shutting off the infernal ringing that he didn’t even apologize. Fumbling around the nightstand in the darkness, he managed to knock over or bump against everything except his phone. Rin half-consciously sneered at Haru to help, and then the two of them were both blindly grasping at his elusive phone. “Found it,” Haru said quietly, already half-leaning over Rin. He reached out his other arm to grab the phone. In the next instant, his arm connected with the side of Rin’s head at full force. The redhead groaned, cradling the side of his head and dropping down to his pillow. Needless to say, the two didn’t speak of the interaction, or anything that had led up to it.

Rin sighed, shrugging on a fresh T-shirt. He decided it was better that they didn’t talk about it—because what would that bring? He felt so much closer to Haru after the night before with their talking and cuddling, and he was terrified asking about Haru’s intentions would fuck everything up. Haru had even said they were sleeping together so Rin would go to sleep easier—he shouldn’t push it further. Still…the possibility of there being another reason weighed on Rin so heavily it was difficult to think of anything else. Especially after Haru’s stupidly cheesy comments about Rin. With a setup like that, what did Haru expect a hopeless romantic like him to think was going on?

He shook his head, trying to rid his hair of the excess water droplets from his shower. Speaking of water…he strode across the room to the bathroom and knocked on the door. “Oi, Haru! We’ll miss breakfast if you don’t hurry up!” He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. It was strange to him how instead of a scowl forming at Haru’s tardiness due to yet another bath, he couldn’t stop the smile forming on his face.

The only response he got from the raven was the sound of a large splash from the bathroom. He rolled his eyes, pushing off of the doorframe and stalking back to finish packing. It hadn’t hit him just yet that tonight, they’d be back home. Shoving his charger and shampoo deeper in his duffel, he similarly tried to shove down the thoughts of their trip ending. In less than 24 hours, his life would be back to revolving around the pool and schoolwork, and Haru would be across the city from him. Rin didn’t know which troubled him more.

It was strange how different everything seemed after only two days. He had wanted the trip to help him forget about the stress of school and choosing his future. Somehow, it seemed like the opposite had happened—he was considering his options, actually thinking each possibility through, more than he had been able to before. And even though he expected to continue training his hardest when he returned to Samezuka, he was also going to dedicate time to spend with his friends. He hoped, too, he would be able to squeeze in some time for himself, time he could spend actually thinking about his future or maybe even just relaxing. So although he wanted his and Haru’s trip to last a little bit longer, some part of him was excited at all the changes that would come once they came home to Iwatobi.

But then, when they came back to Iwatobi…he found himself looking over his shoulder at the closed bathroom door. He had visited the guys before, so it wouldn’t be too suspicious if he started coming to town more weekends than not. However, fantasies of day visits to the beach or to the swim shop with just Haru had started creeping into his mind against his will. Rin had feared this would happen before agreeing to the trip—now that he had a taste of spending time with Haru, he couldn’t get enough. Because the likelihood of those fantasies ever coming true—daydreams of beachside picnics and kisses under cherry blossom trees—was too slim for Rin to bear.

Even if he did feel the same, Rin thought to himself, there’s no way we’d do anything sappy like that. Haru’s idea of a good date would probably be a soak in the pool, both of them floating in different lanes and not speaking to each other. He snorted to himself at the thought, his lips curling up slightly. But even though it could barely qualify as a date, that it would fall very short of Rin’s romantic standards, he knew that he would go without hesitation if he asked him to. If it made Haru happy, he would do anything, from stomaching bad dates to never dating at all.

The bathroom door creaked open. Rin’s stomach plummeted as Haru stepped into the doorframe, their eyes meeting before the redhead had time to look away. Neither of them spoke. Rin was concentrating on keeping his breathing even and keeping his eyes locked on Haru’s—not shifting down to rove over his bare chest still splattered with water droplets from the bath. He gulped. Haru’s eyes hadn’t moved. He was staring at Rin with an unreadable, close-lipped expression, but he hadn’t looked away.

Eventually, Rin found himself breaking the silence. Coughing awkwardly, he sputtered, “I was—you were taking a long bath, and I was debating knocking the door again, but you—Haru!”

The towel that had been around Haru’s neck suddenly flew across the room, connecting with Rin’s face and leaving a lukewarm water imprint on his cheek. “Gah!” Rin batted the towel away from him, still swatting at the air when the towel hit the floor. Then he turned to Haru, eyes narrowed. “What the hell was that for?”

Haru tsked, turning his back to Rin to pull clothes from his duffel (on the bed that was supposed to be his). “Rin, you don’t have to be so embarrassed to want to see me.”

Rin’s cheeks were on fire. There was no way he wasn’t completely beet red. He fumbled to think of a retort, but every time he opened his mouth, he could only choke out incoherent noises. Now fully clothed, Haru turned around and Rin nearly dropped dead. The asshole had the nerve to take one look at his sputtering, tomato-red face—and smirk.

Then Haru said, “I want to spend time with you, too.” Rin barely had time to fake composure at the statement before the raven slung his bag over his shoulder and walked to the door “So hurry up, let’s get breakfast.”

He wasn’t sure if his legs had the strength to move after Haru had just said that. What gave him the right to say such sappy things when he knew how easily Rin’s heart overloaded?! Haru had just exposed him for pining after him, but wasn’t bothered by it—in fact, his comment made it seem like Haru had felt something similar. Rin huffed. It was increasingly difficult to pretend that the raven’s comment was anything other than what his romantic brain interpreted. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but…he couldn’t help but smile and trot obediently after Haru down the hotel hallway.

Breakfast was good. Rin teased Haru on his choice of fish even this early in the morning, but when he swatted at the food with his chopsticks, Haru shut him up by shoving a bite into the redhead’s mouth. He was floored by the joking gesture, especially by Haru’s tiny smile of accomplishment as Rin muffled a cry of rage. Then somehow, he got Rin talking in detail about his favorite romcom actress. He had been explaining the evolution of her acting career that led her to her most recent role, which while critically acclaimed, simply paled in comparison to her lead in Rin’s all-time favorite movie, when he became too aware of his flailing hands and steamrolling voice that had undoubtedly been boring the raven. He trailed off, sheepishly meeting Haru’s gaze, and felt another ache in his chest when he noticed Haru watching him attentively. He raked a hand through his hair, mumbling, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get that detailed—”

“It sounded interesting,” Haru said quietly. Then he looked down to his plate, picking at the remaining fish with a chopstick. “You’re really—you really care about it, so it’s interesting to me.”

His cheeks flushed. His gaze dropped to his plate, too. “Thanks, Haru.” Internally, he was chanting what the fuck how the fuck what the fu—

He felt Haru nudge his shoe, and his head shot up to meet his gaze. Haru opened his mouth but shut it without making a sound. A moment later, he mumbled, “I haven’t seen that movie. Maybe…we could see it.” He stared at his plate again, not even pretending to pick through his food.

“Yeah,” Rin breathed out. “Yeah, for sure.” He felt a shit-eating grin spread across his face. “I’d be glad to educate you on the top tier of culture, Haru.”

“As long as you don’t cry,” Haru bit back, and Rin choked.

“That’s not fair!” He wailed. “I just told you the shots of the opening scene and nearly teared up! You can’t expect me to—”

“Rin,” Haru interrupted, meeting his gaze with a wry look. The redhead had a feeling he was holding back rolling his eyes at his antics. “I’m joking.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t care if you cry,” Haru said, turning his head to the side. “It’ll still be fun with you blubbering, I guess…because you’ll be there.”

Rin’s heart was beating fast enough he felt like they were racing, but this was something else entirely. It didn’t slow as they left the hotel, as Haru slid into the seat next to him and they were speeding through traffic to the swimming complex. In fact, it only sped up as he stared at Haru out of the corner of his eye, his black hair rustling from their open windows. He knew this was dangerous territory. Having a crush and actually acting upon it were two very different things, and he knew his recent interactions with Haru were walking that boundary. But…so had Haru. He smiled at him before turning back to face the road. Haru never was one to let Rin take the lead, was he? They were always neck-in-neck, matching pace from start to finish. Rin guessed flirting was no exception.

He pulled into a spot next to the sidewalk leading to the complex. Some spectators gave them an odd look, one even cringing at the loud J-pop audibly playing with their windows down. Two days ago, Rin would’ve been horrified that anyone would see him publicly listening to this nonsensical shit. But glancing at Haru’s tiny smile as the music babbled on and on, he couldn’t bring himself to care about anybody else.

*

The gun had just sounded for the 100m backstroke final when a woman with a fancier badge than the boys’ approached them. “Matsuoka Rin and Nanase Haruka?” She asked. When they nodded, she prattled on, “I have another set of badges for you two. Some of the coaches mentioned wanting to see you swim in action later today.” She pressed the plastic cards into Rin’s hand. “These’ll give you access to the warm-up pools downstairs. The coaches’ll be there at 1 to watch you, but you can use the facility at any time today.” Then she was off.

Rin met Haru’s gaze, already knowing his reaction to the news. “Wanna go?” he had just asked, and already, Haru had shot up off the bleachers and was maneuvering over Rin to get to the stairs. He laughed, running after him. “Oi, wait up! I have your pass, mackerel-brain!”

Haru froze at the words, making Rin nearly slam into his back. He turned to face the redhead and lunged for the passes. Rin made a noise of discontent, holding the passes above his head just out of Haru’s reach. The raven narrowed his eyes at him and reached up to no avail. “Stop being childish and give me the pass—”

“I’ll race you,” Rin said, raising his eyebrows in a challenge. The resulting glint in Haru’s eyes told him all he needed to know. In the next second, the two were sprinting down the stairs, spectators stepping out of the way in alarm. It probably looked concerning that two high school boys were racing each other down the restricted hallways with one of them cackling maniacally. If they got strange looks, they didn’t notice. All Rin saw was Haru right next to him all the way until they were both panting at the doors and flashing their badges to barge into the locker room.  
Rin had thought of the possibility that coaches might ask them to swim, so he had brought a pair of legskins into the swim center. “Haru, you don’t need—” he looked over his shoulder to see   
Haru already in his jammers, his clothes discarded on the floor. Rin snorted, grinning. “I figured.”

“Hurry up,” Haru said, speed-walking past the redhead and opening the locker room door. “I’m already beating you.”

“Hey!” Rin yelped, stumbling out of one of his pant legs. “That’s unfair! You were wearing them the entire time.”

Grumbling, he freed himself from the other pant leg and chucked them across the room. When he heard no retort from Haru, he turned to see nothing but the locker room door swinging shut. “Haru!”

After a brief struggle pulling on his legskins, he jogged out of the locker room and onto the cool pool tiles. Thankfully, there was no one else in the pool. He saw the telltale splashing halfway down one of the middle lanes that showed him exactly how much Haru had already swam.   
Without hesitating, he climbed onto a block and dove into the next lane over, the lane where he always raced the raven. He suddenly understood why Haru was always going on about feeling the water. When the water hit him, in the lane next to Haru’s, everything in the universe felt centered. He didn’t have to worry if he was choosing the right college or career. In that moment, it was just Rin in the lane on Haru’s right, and everything made sense.

He had just finished a lap—almost catching up to Haru in the process—when he saw Haru pause in the lane next to him. Curious, he stopped his lap, too, swimming over to Haru and treading water next to the raven. “What’s up? Wanting to actually start a fair race?” He smirked and leaned over the lane divider.

“Not right now,” Haru said, his gaze fixed on the clear water between them. “Would you—do you want to—”

“What, Haru?” Rin relaxed against the lane divider.

A moment passed before Haru’s head snapped up, his eyes meeting Rin’s confidently. “Practice relay exchanges with me.”

Rin blinked. Perfecting their exchange timing would be somewhat pointless since they weren’t on the same team anymore. He said as much, and Haru scowled in response.

“It’ll help my exchange with Rei,” Haru said. Then, in a very un-Haru-like gesture, he flicked some water up at Rin’s face. “Stop overthinking it. You love relays, it’ll be fun.”

He instantly splashed him back. He knew Haru was right, but he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. However, when he met the raven’s intense gaze, he found he couldn’t turn down his request even if he wanted to. He nodded in agreement, and Haru kicked over to the side of the pool, heaving himself up on the tiles. Rin shoved off of the divider and followed Haru over to the starting block. Flicking a stray strand of hair out of his eye, he looked up at Haru. “I’m gonna start from here, okay?” He nodded in agreement and Rin dove under the surface.

He swam down the lane as if he was racing. Soon enough, his feet were pushing off the other side of the pool and he was speeding back towards Haru. Every time he came up for air, he saw Haru getting closer and closer, until he was nearly one stroke away. He surged forward and smacked his hand on the wall. When he broke the surface, he shouted, “Haru!” but the raven was already mid-dive. His torso arced above him in such perfect form Rin felt his jaw fall slack unconsciously. In the next instant, Haru hit the water with a splash and was racing down the lane.

Rin heaved himself out of the pool and crossed his arms, his eyes never leaving Haru’s form. It was just as mesmerizing watching Haru swim now as it was the first time when they were just kids. He could never had expected back then how he would feel about Haru now, how he was sure that this is what he always wanted to see—Haru racing towards him with everything he had after Rin had just done the same. This is want I want for my future, he thought. This—Haru and me and the water.

His hand hit the wall. Rin glanced at the running clock while Haru surfaced and saw their times had been close to their season best. He grinned. Then he crouched lower to the pool, holding out a hand to help Haru out. I want this, he thought again with absolute certainty. The swimming together and the being together. We make each other better.

Rin pulled Haru up, his feet splattering water over the cool tiles and Rin’s feet inches away. Shaking his hair out one more time (showering Rin in even more water), he met Rin’s gaze with a tiny smile. The redhead became suddenly very aware at how close they were standing. Haru’s face was so close he could see individual droplets on his eyelashes. His breath hitched when he remembered his hand still clasped around Haru’s, both of them cold and wet from the water but neither making a move to break apart. The only noises Rin could hear were the lapping of the pool water and the thudding in his ears. With their chests so close, Rin was sure Haru could feel the thunderous pounding of his heart. If he did, he didn’t show—he kept looking at Rin with that ethereal ghost of a smile that only made his heart beat faster.

“Do you want to go again?” Haru asked. He was still breathing hard, and Rin thought about suggesting they wait, but he felt Haru’s hand squeeze his strongly and forgot how to think. “Fun,” he panted out, and Rin smiled dopily.

They ran four more sets, their exchange time getting more accurate with each attempt. Though the exchange was faster, Rin still got the same thrill watching Haru dive above him, the same connectedness he always did with his relay teammates. Moreover, the quicker exchange made him feel more in tune with Haru even with the shorter span of existing and entering the water. For Rin, it affirmed that they were on the same wavelength. He hoped that their new openness out of the pool was responsible for making their connection in the water even stronger than before.

He crouched down to help Haru up for another round when he heard the door creak open behind him. Turning, he took in the newcomers while hauling Haru out of the pool. When he took in their university polos and clipboards, he immediately dropped Haru’s hand and shifted into a bow. He heard Haru do the same next to him as Rin sad, “Thank you for meeting with us!”

They straightened, and the coach closest to them smiled. “Of course. Many of us have had our eyes on you boys for awhile now, it’ll be more convenient for us to see you in action here than follow you two all over Japan. How’s about you two line up to swim 100m free for us?”

“Yes, sir!” Rin responded. Turning around, he climbed up his starting block on Haru’s right. His eyes flicked over Haru’s tense form automatically. “You alright?” He mumbled, remembering the last time scouts had been watching him swim.

He watched Haru swallow and felt dread, even though Haru had been the one to suggest this trip. But then the raven nodded. “I’m just racing you. I know I want to do that.”

Rin’s returning smile spread deeper than just on his lips. He snapped his goggles strap tightly against his head before lowering them over his eyes. “Me too. But I sure as hell aren’t losing.”

Haru snorted, and they crouched into a set. At the sound of a coach’s whistle, they were diving, hitting the water in synchronization.

He could feel Haru next to him from more than the rippling waves that accompanied their strokes. Rin was racing as fast as he could, and Haru wasn’t letting up, either. Each breath of air was equally needed and cut short so Rin could get under faster. He reached the opposite wall first but saw Haru hit it the second he was pushing off. Internally, he cursed, kicking with all his might before moving back into the stroke. He pumped his arms and legs through their slight ache from their earlier sets until they were moving as fast as he could get. Still, he worked them harder, knowing Haru wouldn’t let up. For a singular second, he met Haru’s eye when he took a breath to his left, confirming his knowledge that they were indeed neck and neck. Determined, he surged forward, kicking and slicing his arms with all he had until the end of the pool loomed larger in front of him. He let out a final, powerful kick and reached out, only—

SMACK.

His head snapped to meet Haru’s eyes, wide and even bluer with the pool’s reflection. His hand, too, had just hit the wall. He couldn’t help but laugh, the noise echoing with the pool’s acoustics. “I can’t believe—we seriously tied again?” He asked between gasps for air.

Haru shook out his hair from the swim cap. “I guess we did.” That small smile again...it was going to kill Rin before they even made it back to Iwatobi.Then Haru stretched his hand above his head. He blinked up at him, waiting for Rin’s hand to meet it. Rin felt something clench in his chest. He slapped his hand against Haru’s. He didn’t know if it was just the post-racing adrenaline, but he felt ridiculously happy at the tiny gesture.

“Well.” Rin flinched at the coach’s voice, his hand dropping away from Haru’s and splashing when it hit the water. “That was impressive. Some of the guys on my team now can’t hit that time.”

“Thank you,” Rin said with a slight bow of his head. He saw Haru do the same out of the corner of his eye.

“Matsuoka, could you also swim butterfly for us?” Another polo-clad man asked. Rin obediently pulled himself out of the pool and climbed onto his starting block. He made eye contact with Haru for a moment before a whistle sounded and he was airborne. His butterfly lap seemed to go slower and not just because of the stroke difference. It was easier to push himself when he was in a race with Haru—either against him or with him—but he could still swim well enough on his own. Soon, he felt the wall under his hand, and he was breaking the surface and breathing hard.

He looked up to see a flurry of writing on clipboards and secret exchanges between people wearing the same colored polos. Rin’s head snapped to the clock and felt a rush of relief—it was a decent time for him. Surely they weren’t writing him off of their recruitment program, he tried to assure himself. Even though he was satisfied with the time, the trickle of doubt that it still wasn’t good enough was cutting through his mind, reminding him how this was his last chance before graduation to get professional attention—

“Rin.”

He flinched. Looking up, his eyes widened at the sight of Haru bending down next to his block, his hand outstretched to help him up. He wasn’t looking away. Rin was struck with how little the raven had been doing that lately. “Come on,” Haru mumbled. He felt his shoulders relax.   
Clasping Haru’s hand, he let himself be pulled up until they were standing next to each other on the tiles. Before he could pull his hand away, Rin felt a brief squeeze. His gaze jumped to Haru’s, who was looking at him intently. For once, he seemed to understand what he was trying to say—relax. You did great. His chest felt warm despite the cold of the pool.

However, in the next second, Rin felt his stomach drop completely as he watched the coaching staff of his current favorite Japanese university approach them. He gulped down his nerves and plastered a smile on his face. “I’ve been following your times, but seeing you swim them in person is just incredible,” the head coach said, the two of them bowing in thanks to respond. “And when you swam together! That was clearly something else.”

Rin couldn’t help but grin ear to ear at the comment. “Haru’s always pushing me, sir. Whether in the lane next to me or right behind me!”

Haru nodded in agreement, and Rin’s smile somehow grew wider. However, the coach across from them furrowed his brow. “You boys don’t swim on the same team, though, right?”

Rin said, “No, Sir!” at the same time Haru stated, “He wanted the better swim program instead of swimming with his friends.”

Rin squawked, and the coaches burst into chuckles. Haru looked annoyingly happy with himself at the comment, staring off into space with the ghost of a smirk on his face. He huffed. “Don’t act like I was trying to insult you guys! When I came back here, Iwatobi didn’t even have a swim team yet! My only option was to go to Samezuka.”

“Even though you’re competitors, you’ve been swimming together for years, though,” another coach stated. They nodded.

“I actually was on Haru’s team in elementary school,” Rin explained. He bumped his shoulder into Haru’s. “I was the one who finally convinced him to swim in relays.”

He heard Haru tsk, a sound so quiet the coaches wouldn’t be able to pick up on his annoyance with him, and his grin widened. But he floored Rin by suddenly saying, “Rin and I were practicing relay exchanges earlier if you’d like to see. You said yourself that we swim great together. If you would have us, Rin and I would be valuable members of your team in relays and individual events.”

Rin’s jaw dropped. Had he just…pitched themselves to his highest contending university? He   
wasn’t even sure that was allowed! Fears of the coach telling them off, revoking their earlier interest came crashing down on him. However, they were interrupted by the head coach’s throaty laugh. Rin wasn’t sure he was breathing as he watched the older man wheeze, smacking his leg with his clipboard. His laughter could be either very good or detrimental to them both! After a minute, he sighed, smiling up at the boys with twinkling eyes.

“So direct,” he chuckled. Then he lightly punched Haru’s shoulder. “I like you, kid!” Rin had to hold in his own laughter at Haru’s pinched expression at the contact. “But you don’t need to pitch yourselves so strongly. I mean, look at what you two did today. Anyone would be foolish not to want the pair of you on their team.”

Rin’s heart was beaming at the compliment, but he looked at Haru for his reaction. As expected, he was studying the pool tiles and not making eye contact. Still, Rin could see slight color dusting Haru’s cheeks, what he selfishly hoped to be a sign that he was moved by this college’s attention, too. In a flash, a possible future sprang into Rin’s mind—early morning runs past the quaint university shops, long hours in an expensive collegiate pool racing Haru over and over again, textbooks splayed open with pages of notes strewn across a library desk until Rin’s head slumped against the hard surface, and trudging home late at night with Haru by his side, to their dorm room reeking of fish and chlorine and a mix of the two that was unmistakably Haru. He found liked that possibility very much.

“But I know it’ll be a tough sell for Matusoka, heh! If the rumors of your early offer are true.”

And just like that, everything came crashing down.

Immediately, Rin’s stomach plummeted. He glanced at Haru out of the corner of his eye to see the raven’s entire form stiffen. His insides churned further. Cursing himself, he wished he had at least mentioned the Australian offer before than to have Haru find out like this. He watched his reaction as the coach continued, “I’m not gonna lie, kid, it’s a lot more than we could give you. It is across the ocean, but you’ve done it before, right?” Haru’s eyes narrowed, and he tilted his head further away from Rin’s prying gaze. He felt a pang in his chest. “We’d be sad to lose you on our team, but it’s also a great opportunity for someone so talented. Still, if you do want to stay in Japan…we’ll be in touch.”

When he finished, it was completely silent. He knew he should respond, but Rin didn’t think he could form words at this point. All he could see, all he could think was the tiny divet between Haru’s eyebrows, how the raven was pointedly fixated at the furthest point from him. The coach coughed awkwardly, jolting him out of his thoughts again. “And definitely with you, Nanase. I’ll fight all of these idiots to make sure you’re wearing my colors next year.”

He moved to walk away, but neither of them addressed the coaches. Rin opened his mouth to say something to Haru—what, exactly, he wasn’t even sure—when another university stepped in the coaches’ place, riddling them with their school’s swim programs. This went on for school after school. Rin chirped out the usual answers, not listening to half of their pitches. His entire focus was on the man next to him, on how tense he was still standing. He was nearly shaking at the simmering rift he could almost physically feel re-forming between them. Although they were next to each other, Haru seemed to make that distance seem unfathomable with his body language towards the redhead. He had never been one for eye contact, but now, his staring off into space felt undeniably purposeful, like he was acknowledging Rin’s presence and choosing to look anywhere else. It cut at Rin, but it also angered him—why was Haru even so upset at his Australian offer? Especially before he could even explain himself!

When the final group of coaches left, Rin lunged for Haru. He wrapped his hand around Haru’s wrist before the raven could make a move to stop him. “Haru, about what he said—” he began, but Haru was already turning away.

“The meet’s over,” he said evenly, gaze fixed on the floor. “We should head back. So we won’t get…there too late.”

Rin noted his choice not to use the word “home” to describe their relationship to Iwatobi. It dug at him that Haru was implying he didn’t see their town as his home, that he wanted to return to somewhere else. He had to talk to him about what he really felt about the Australian offer. “You don’t want to…stick around for awhile? We could see the touristy things on our way home,” He said with a gentle smile, loosening his grip on Haru’s wrist.

Haru seemed to notice at that moment he was being held, as his eyes flicked down to Rin’s hand branded around him. His eyebrows bunched together, and he opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind, turning away instead. “I think we should just go back,” he said quietly. His expression darkened. “If it’ll get you to hurry up, I’ll race you,” he grumbled sarcastically, and yanked his arm out of Rin’s grasp before stalking into the locker room.

Rin let his hand fall, knowing Haru well enough not to try and pull him back. He hadn’t been holding on as tightly as he should to begin with, anyways.

*

They didn’t talk for the first hour of the drive home. When Rin had first slid into the car, he had managed to get out, “Haru—” before the CD was turned on full-blast and Haru was mumbling, “Shh, I can’t hear the music.” He wanted to argue that he had just turned on the music, so of course he hadn’t heard it yet. Moreover, he wanted to fight it because he knew the music was just a way for Haru to avoid talking to Rin. The need to explain himself—to make Haru less upset or whatever he was feeling that was making him act more standoffish than usual—was eating away at him. But looking at Haru’s set jaw, turned away from Rin and out the window, he thought he shouldn’t push him to an argument.

An hour later, Rin was starting to hate the J-Pop’s happy tunes more than he had before as they stretched the silence between him and Haru. He felt the tension like an almost physical thing, like each stolen glance he took at Haru sent an electric shock through him. But it was nothing like the exciting tension of this morning. This was an energy he knew all too well when it involved Haru. Undeniably, they were steamrolling towards a heated argument, and Rin didn’t know how to stop it from happening.

Moreover, after the hour alone with his thoughts and the bouncy music, he was starting to welcome the idea of a fight. He had wanted to tell Haru himself about the offer because it would’ve been a decent thing for him to do as a friend. Sure, he felt bad that the detail had been spilled by someone else, but he figured it wouldn’t be so catastrophic as Haru reverting to completely ignoring him. He stewed in the driver’s seat, clenching the steering wheel forcefully. What right did Haru have to get so upset without even hearing what Rin thought about it? Did he think so little of Rin that he expected the redhead to jet off to Australia without a word goodbye? He didn’t even get the chance to tell Haru that he was seriously considering staying in Japan—so he could swim with Haru!—before the raven completely shut out the possibility. He was getting angrier by the second at Haru’s unwillingness to even try to listen to him.

He jolted in the seat at the sudden boom of thunder. Squinting, he scanned the sky in front of him to find it covered in dark clouds. Since it had been getting darker as the night went on, he hadn’t noticed the storm brewing ahead of them. His scowl deepened. The last thing he wanted was to drive in torrential rain. At least it matches my mood, he thought bitterly.

A few minutes later, light droplets started to dot the windshield. With an angry jerk of his hand, Rin flicked on the wipers, the mechanical noise of it in irritating harmony with Gou’s blaring music. Soon, the rain was falling harder, to the point where Rin could basically only see a sheet of water in front of him. He turned the wipers on to full speed, but it didn’t make much difference—all he could make out were colored blotches. His anxiety was increasing rapidly—he hated storms with a passion, always bringing up old feelings of fear and pain. The rapid back-and-forth of the wipers, as well as the whining noise they produced, only increased the tension Rin was feeling. Cars around them were either slowing their speed or going towards the exits. Craning his neck, Rin was trying to see what the car in front of him was doing when the music was suddenly interrupted by a blaring, high-pitched noise.

Both of them jumped at the interruption. A second later, a voice came over the stereo: “This is a severe weather warning. We are expecting severe flooding due to the rain that will affect the accessibility of our roadways. Our weather team advises to stay off the roads and to seek shelter until the storm has cleared. If you must travel, avoid roads near waterways as they will flood first.” Then the loud noise sounded again, and Gou’s music started back up.

Rin fisted his hair, his other hand clenched tightly on the wheel. “Shit,” he breathed. He didn’t want to do this, but with his schedule and Haru’s… “We need to get back to Iwatobi for school tomorrow! This is ridiculous! We have to drive through it.”

“No, we can’t,” Haru said over the music. Rin was shocked that he had spoken, but unsurprised he was taking a stance against him. Finally, he thought. He didn’t want to fight Haru—he hadn’t for a while. Even their races weren’t antagonistic anymore. But he needed something to release the tense silence that they both were feeling, and this was an easy thing to fall back on. “She said the roads by water will flood first. Most of the way home is right next to the ocean.”

“So?” Rin snorted. “Then we’ll swim the rest of the way back. God knows you’d love that,” he bit out. He knew he was being an ass, but he didn’t know how to stop.

“It’s dangerous,” Haru said evenly. Rin could have grinned—the slight tension in Haru’s voice was unmistakable to the redhead. It signaled that the fight was about to boil over. After they got it out, it would all go back to normal. “Something could happen to your mom’s car—”

“Yeah, you know all about that, right, Haru?” He sneered before he could help himself. The rain was pounding against the windshield like a drumbeat, but he still heard Haru’s small intake of breath at his comment.

“Oi, could you quit being an ass?” Haru demanded, and this time Rin did grin a little. This, he understood, unlike why raven-haired swimmers went from flirting in the morning and making him feel cared for to total silence in the afternoon. “It’s dangerous! You clearly don’t want to, too! I don’t want anything to happen!”

Rin huffed. Haru did have a valid point. He could barely see the cars in front of him, and if the radio lady was to be believed, the conditions wouldn’t be letting up any soon. There was a chance they could drive through it, make it back in time for school and practice without anything happening…but they also could get stranded in a flooded road in the middle of nowhere, or crash, or worse. Plus, even though they were ticked at each other, Haru still sensed his discomfort, making Rin’s resolve soften against his will. He sighed, knocking his head on the steering wheel. “Yeah, you’re right,” he offered weakly. “I guess we could stop somewhere for awhile until it lets up.”

There was a beat of silence. Then, Haru breathed, “I don’t want anything to happen that could ruin your chances at going to Australia.”

He whirled on Haru, the road be damned. “What do you know about it? You haven’t even let me explain what’s going on!”

“I know enough,” Haru said in that quiet-angry way that Rin knew too well. “That coach knew more than any of us did. I—” he snapped his mouth shut, looking away sharply. Rin huffed loudly and did the same, turning back to the road.

“That’s not what—” he began, but shut up when Haru’s hand obstructed some of his vision as he pointed to an approaching exit. He was seething too much to make out the approaching blobs through the rain, but evidently, the raven was paying attention to them.

“Take that,” he mumbled, immediately withdrawing his hand when Rin hit the blinker. “I saw a sign for a hotel.”

A hotel!? “We’re staying the whole night?” Initially, he didn’t like the idea. He wanted to get back to Iwatobi as soon as they possible to not disrupt their school and practice schedules, but...Rin supposed the extra time would force the raven to talk to him eventually. Really, he didn’t know why Haru was so upset. He was only getting frustrated because he wouldn’t let Rin explain. Yeah, the offer was everything he could’ve dreamed of, but this weekend, his talks with Haru made him realize he wanted more than just swimming. He didn’t want to have to sacrifice everything else in his life because of it. As he pulled into the parking lot, rain surrounding them, he felt as if it was already doing exactly what he hoped to avoid—taking away everything important to him.

Because Haru had become even more important to him this weekend than he was before. He really liked him, even though he was being a piece of work right now (because Rin was, too, to be fair). He wanted the fight to be over and the college deciding to be over and to get back to swimming with Haru. He didn’t even care if there would be nothing else. As long as he could still swim with him, to push each other to their very best, he would be at his happiest.

They didn’t speak getting their bags or in their mad dash from the car to the hotel awning. Rin pointedly ignored how the tips of Haru’s hair were curling up with the rain water. They shuffled to their room in silence, the only sounds the slam of their bags on their separate beds.

Rin wasn’t facing him. It took all the strength left in him to keep his back to the raven while pulling out his sleep clothes. Haru had just ended a phone call to Makoto telling him they’d miss the beginning of school tomorrow. He wanted to talk to him. He didn’t know if Haru wanted to, but at this point, he needed to make Haru listen. He needed Haru to stop ignoring him, to understand that he never wanted to leave him or their friends again. Screw his pride. Rin whirled around, meeting bright blue eyes. “Haru, I want to tell you, the Australia offer—”

He expected Haru to look away, silencing the conversation like he had been all afternoon. He hadn’t expected him to keep meeting his gaze with a determined look, one that seemed to be incapable of looking away from Rin’s stare. Even more unexpected, he interrupted Rin. The redhead’s grand speech about friendship and what he valued was forgotten when Haru interjected before Rin could even finish his sentence.

Haru said, “Don’t go.”


	7. A Final Competition

Rin blinked. He didn’t trust that the raven’s words were real. But Haru continue to meet his gaze, his expression determined and sure. His heart was beating so fast he felt it was going to burst. “Haru?” His voice cracked on the question.

“I—I don’t think you should,” Haru said. He set his jaw. “You and I both know we swim the best when we’re together. So, if you want to be the best, you should stay here.”

Rin felt the comment like a spear to the heart. “You think that’s all I care about,” he mumbled. He felt his fists clench of their own will. “After all of this. You don’t think you or the guys go into this decision at all?”

Haru stared back at him, seemingly unsure of what to say. His wide eyes told Rin enough. His heart sank, accepting Haru’s opinion of him, when the raven spoke up. “No. I know you care about us. But I know you want to be successful, too.” He frowned slightly. “And we both know this is what’ll make you the best.”

“If I was after my greatest chance of success, I would be boarding a plane tomorrow!” Rin burst out. “It’s an amazing offer! The program and schedule’s enough where I could potentially get on the National team in my first year, with or without competing against you,” he finished, breathing heavily. He watched Haru’s blue eyes soften with uncharacteristic emotion, and he deflated. “Hey, that’s not what I meant. You know I wouldn’t be here without you, Har—"

“I said something wrong,” Haru said. “It’s about more than swimming. I don’t think you should go.” Haru said. His gaze darkened, but he didn’t break eye contact. “No. That’s not it. I thought it was, but that’s not what’s bothering me. I don’t want you to go.” Rin inhaled sharply. At the noise, Haru took a single step towards him. “I don’t want to swim with people that aren’t you. I don’t want to talk to annoying, cocky students that don’t work as hard as you do. I don’t want to watch stupid movies with people that don’t cry because they don’t care like you,” he said, swallowing. For the first time, he broke eye contact, looking at his feet. “I don’t want you to go to Australia again.”

Rin’s heart shattered at the last statement. “Haru…” he trailed off, at a total loss. “I—”

“Can you shut up for five seconds,” Haru snapped, but his eyes were void of any anger. Rin complied. After a shaky breath, Haru continued.

“You’ve always annoyed me,” he said, and Rin huffed indignantly. Haru ignored it, instead taking another step closer. “You always were teasing me and racing me and it felt like I couldn’t breathe,” he mumbled, looking away. Another step. “But you left, it was so much worse.”

He let out a shaky breath. He felt his heart breaking at the pain he’d caused Haru, but felt something warm tugging at him, too. Haru continued, “You’re so much. When you left, it was like all the water was sucked away.”

Rin immediately felt hot stinging in his eyes, the telltale sign of tears pooling. Abruptly, he blinked them away, wanting his eyesight to stop blurring his vision of Haru taking another step towards him. “C-can I say someth—”

“Not done,” Haru said plainly. He was now nearly inches in front of Rin, the redhead noticed with a sharp jolt to his chest. He had to tilt his head up to meet Rin’s gaze. “I want you to achieve your dream. And if that dream means going to Australia, then you should go. But…I want you to stay. I know it’s selfish and isn’t rational, but if you stay, I’ll push you harder than anyone else can.” His blue eyes blazed like fire looking into Rin’s. “I’ll match you pace for pace until we both make the National team.”

Rin’s shoulders jerked. “You want that, too?” Everything Haru was saying seemed too good to be true—he had wanted to stay for this very reason, but never wanted to pressure the raven into any future he didn’t want. Especially because of Haru’s earlier indications that a swimming career was completely off of the table. It was too surreal to hear his fantasies voiced aloud, by Haru no less, that he was having trouble believing it.

Haru glanced down, his expression softening. “I want to swim,” he mumbled. “And I want to swim with you. It’s an easy decision.”

Rin’s jaw fell slack, and he couldn’t fumble together enough dignity in his confusion to snap it closed. Instead, he stood inches away from Haru, sputtering out a coherent response. His head was spinning—Haru was asking him to stay, he wanted to swim together—but something was nagging at the back of his mind. All of his reasoning this far had revolved around their careers, but that hadn’t been what motivated Haru to advise him not to leave. “But you said this isn’t about just swimming,” Rin blurted out. “What did that mean?”

He visibly flinched, and Rin tensed, too, worried he had come too close to breaching Haru’s walls. He was about to tell him to forget it when he saw the raven take a deep breath, his eyes fluttering shut before timidly opening, staring at the hotel carpeting. “I said I want you to stay,” his words barely over a whisper. Rin could scarcely breathe. His blood was fire and ice and everything in between as he hung on the empty seconds between them. “I told you all the stuff about not wanting other people around. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

Rin raised an eyebrow. “So you want me to stay…because you don’t want to be sociable and meet new people?”

Haru narrowed his eyes, briefly meeting Rin’s. “Screw you,” he muttered, knocking a fist lightly against Rin’s shoulder. But his hand hesitated, his knuckles lingering on the bone for seconds longer than necessary. Rin breathed as if a weight was being pressed against his chest. His eyes flickered over Haru’s pale fingers, then back to meet Haru’s equally wide-eyed gaze. The air between them hung in dizzying suspense. Rin could only numbly watch as Haru’s expression relaxed and felt his hand press firmer against his shoulder. This couldn’t be real life. He was going to combust with Haru’s sporadic niceties, the subtle moments like these that were almost too soft and precious they felt—

“You’re so dense,” Haru said, staring intensely at Rin’s collarbone. From this close, Rin could see strands of hair pressed against Haru’s forehead from of the rain, smell the chlorine and fish that was somewhat intoxicating. “You must not be that big of a fan of those romance movies if you can’t tell things.”

“Romance movies…” Rin breathed. A thought hit him, so foreign and forbidden and amazing he nearly fell over. He really was an idiot! Some of their interactions could’ve easily come from his favorite romcom. “Haru, you’re not—you don’t—you actually like me?!”

Haru tucked his head even further downwards, but Rin could see pale pink dusting his cheeks as clear as day. “Even though you’re really clueless,” he grumbled. “I couldn’t tell you how I feel. And you like those dramatic movies, so I tried to do some of the gestures they do in those shows.”

Rin’s heart had stopped. He could feel the tears starting to drop down his cheeks, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not when his heart felt like it was flying and expanding to the fullest it’d ever felt. Haru had really tried to do romantic gestures for him? He had never felt this happy. How was this his life?

He smiled delicately as he stared at the floor, blushing even more. “You like meat kebabs, so I got you some at the meet. You like all those sappy love confessions in shows, so I told you how I see you. And you really loved swimming relays with me,” Haru paused, “So I swam them with you this morning.”

Those were Haru’s grand romantic gestures? They were unconventional—by most standards, they hardly qualified as being anywhere in the realm of showing affection. But to Rin, they were the most thoughtful and perfect moves—because they were all Haru’s way of trying to bring him happiness. He looked down at Haru with wide, tear-filled eyes, his cheeks sticky with the few he’d shed. Seemingly feeling Rin’s heavy gaze, the raven finally looked up in his eyes, sending a jolt of electricity down Rin’s spine. Suddenly, the air between them was swelteringly tense. Ever so slowly, Haru’s free hand (the other still firmly gripping his shoulder), reached for Rin’s cheek. Rin’s took in a sharp breath as he felt the tips of Haru’s fingers ghost over his cheekbones, stilling when they reached his ear. Gently, he brushed his thumb over the wet traces on Rin’s skin. Rin’s mouth was resting open in a tiny “o”, staying completely still even as he saw Haru’s eyes flicker from his eyes to his lips. In the next second, the warmth of Haru’s body was pressing into him. He tried to remember to breathe when he felt Haru’s chin digging into his shoulder and his raven hair tickling his cheek. Flush against Haru’s chest, he knew Haru could feel the pounding of his heart, even quicker than the raven’s arms tightened around him. He loosed a long breath and shut his eyes. In the next moment, however, he went completely rigid when he felt Haru’s head pull back from his shoulder. Completely frozen, he could only stand with his jaw agape as he felt a feather-light kiss on his cheek, there for barely a whisper before Haru was burying his face in Rin’s shoulder again.

“H-Haru,” Rin nearly sighed. A soft hum against his shoulder was his only response. Somehow, Rin remembered how to use some of his muscles, and wrapped his arms around the raven, pulling him closer. He hoped he wasn’t shaking as he held him. It felt as if he had just been struck by lightning and was nearly overcharging with emotions. He may or may not still have tears trickling down his cheeks; it didn’t seem important when Haru was in his arms, when Haru had just told him that he had done all these things to give Rin the romcom that he deserved. He was going to burst with his feelings for him. But as he was thinking of how lucky he was, he suddenly felt the raven quivering against his chest. Concerned, he tried to pull back to see Haru’s expression, only to have Haru’s arms tighten to hold Rin even closer against him. Feeling his head shaking against his shoulder, Rin’s heart plummeted. Then he heard Haru whisper into his shoulder, “Don’t go.”

Rin’s chest was nearly cleaved in two. “Haru…” He breathed, then gingerly eased a hand off of Haru’s back. Tentatively, he brought the hand to cradle the back of Haru’s head, lightly running his fingers over Haru’s hair. At the touch, Haru seemed to relax—he was still shaking, but it was less intense. Hearing the raven sigh into his t-shirt, Rin closed his eyes. Tugging him tighter to his chest, he mumbled, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can’t swim all the way to Australia, Rin,” he heard Haru grumble against his shoulder, and he couldn’t help but grin. Of course that would be Haru’s first choice of transportation. He had half a mind to tease the raven, but it could wait—what was important now was assuring Haru and being honest. His emotions were a whirlwind of extreme joy and desperation, but he needed to explain everything to Haru, even as his stomach nose-dived at the thought.

“I’m not going to Australia,” he said. He felt Haru freeze, then pull back slightly. His eyebrows were knit when he met Rin’s gaze, but the redhead’s grin only grew wider. Still cradling Haru’s head, he pressed his fingers harder against the raven’s scalp. “I was trying to tell you. Yeah, it’s a great offer. But after this weekend, talking about what I want for the future—I fell apart because I didn’t have you guys as support.” He swallowed, his eyes flicking away from Haru’s. 

“What I’ve got with all of you…I don’t want to sacrifice that for my career. I shouldn’t have to.” He let out a long breath before meeting Haru’s eyes again. “And yeah, I could still keep in touch if I left. But it would be really far, like you said. I don’t want that.” His heart leapt as he saw Haru’s gaze soften, showing him that he was calming down. Still, his chest was bursting with the need to address the raven’s romantic comments, even as a smaller part of him was terrified to do so. 

He started the only way he knew how when it came to Haru—racing each other. After all, while he wouldn’t mind if Haru bested him at romantic confessions, he wasn’t about to just let him win! No matter the nature of their relationship, that would never change. “And it would be pointless to go anyway, heh,” he laughed humorously before pulling his best smirk, “Because I could never be swimming my best there, either.”

Watching Haru’s returning blush was fascinating, Rin decided, but the soft smile he gave the redhead sent his heart into near overload. “I want to swim with you, too,” Rin affirmed, tightening his grip around Haru. Then, smiling meekly, he said, “That’s what I’ve always wanted.”

He watched as the raven closed his eyes, as if in disbelief. His heart swelled. But then he grumbled, “You’re so sappy.” Rin huffed at the retort, but couldn’t keep the smile off of his face.  
“Hey, you like me anyways, though,” he chirped, ruffling Haru’s hair. Haru tsked, but leaned into the touch, causing Rin’s heart to trip over itself. Their eyes met again, and it was hard to breathe. Although Haru had confessed his feelings…a part of Rin was still terrified to speak his own. He knew he wore his heart on his sleeve, so Haru should have been able to tell how completely whipped he was for the raven, but then again, they both were pretty dense. He wanted more than anything to just say how he felt, to be able to do this—embracing each other, never giving the other the upper hand—all of the time.

Rin scanned Haru’s face, memorizing the way his blue eyes looked so hopeful and bright up into his even in the dimly lit room. He bit the inside of his cheek. He knew what his eyes were asking, the words he was physically incapable of speaking, but did Haru?

Haru kept looking up at him with wide eyes and that tiny smile that was equally soothing and making him more flustered. The hand gripping his shoulder fell until he felt tugging on his Hand at Haru’s back. Slowly, the raven laced their fingers together. He never looked away. Rin felt a squeeze of his hand. “I do.” Haru mumbled. “Like you. Even though you drive me crazy. I’m sorry if that makes it weird.”

“I like you, too. I mean! I--” Rin blurted out, immediately regretting his lack of smooth delivery. Dammit, he was trying to reciprocate Haru’s romantic gestures, and this is how he delivered?! His favorite movie protagonists would be ashamed! But as he was internally cringing, he watched in awe as Haru’s smile…grew. He was truly going to faint. First a love confession, figuring out Haru had been trying to woo him with romantic gestures, and now…he was being blinded by Haru’s teeth!? Rin had somehow slipped into a romantic comedy.

“Go on,” Haru said, teeth and all. He squeezed Rin’s hand again. “I know you have some romantic speech to give me.”

Rin squawked. He tried to recoil from Haru’s embrace, but he was held in place. “Maybe you don’t get one anymore if you’re going to demean it like that!” Haru was still smiling at him. “I’m serious! I thought about this a lot—”

“I know,” Haru said. “I...I want to hear about your feelings. Even if it’s really mushy.”

Rin huffed. “It’s your fault if it’s mushy,” he grumbled, and Haru’s head dove into the crook of his neck. He laughed, tentatively playing with some of Haru’s hair. He hoped it wasn’t out of line. But just as he opened his mouth to ask, Haru leaned closer, and he yet again was flabbergasted at how lucky he was that this was his life right now. He twirled a loose strand of hair with his fingers as he started to talk.

“You know I’ve always admired you,” he began. “At first, it was just swimming. When we were kids, even. I saw you move and I knew you were something special.”

Haru settled against Rin’s shoulder, and he muttered, “You better not fall asleep.”

“That’s your job.”

“Hey!”

“Keep going.”

Rin sighed, but he was smiling. “But then I got to know you. You drove me up the wall when you wouldn’t swim with me. You were so great, and you didn’t need anyone else.” He paused, thinking. “I think that’s how it started. I had been trying so hard back then to be strong by myself, and you were there, showing me it was possible.”

“But you don’t think that now—”

“I’m getting to it!” Rin huffed. “Whether it was both of us competing on our own or swimming together, you’ve never gone easy on me. Other people treat me so gently—they act like I’m a piece of broken glass that will break more if I’m pushed even slightly harder. But you’ve never been afraid to speak your mind with me. You’re blunt when people have always been hidden behind niceties, and I really appreciate that.” He swallowed, then smirked. “You’re dedicated. Maybe a bit too stubborn, but…I really admire how much you put yourself into the things that you love.”

“Rin…too sappy.”

“It’s true!” he wailed. “You never walk away from something you really care about. And…you don’t let me give up on myself. I’ve been a mess for most of the time I’ve known you, and I probably hurt you and the other guys because of it, but you never gave up on me. You’ve always made me better, in swimming and everything else,” he choked, really hoping the crack in his voice wasn’t that noticeable. “You make me want to be better.”

He heard Haru make a soft noise against his neck. Rin knew he was likely crying again. Strands of Haru’s hair were sticking to his face and he felt very flushed, but that was the last thing on his mind. His heart was now fully bare before Haru, in all of its intense emotions that he feared were way too overwhelming for a confession. He made to ask Haru if it was indeed too much when he felt Haru’s thumb once again brush away his fallen tears. His heart softened. Maybe this was his life now, he thought with amazement.

Haru adjusted his head’s angle so he could speak. “I think what’s better for you now is to go to sleep,” he murmured. Rin rolled his eyes. “You haven’t caught up yet. And it’s your last night before you have crazy hours again.”

Rin wanted to keep talking—to ask what both of these confessions meant for their relationship, what their futures would hold, and a million other spinning questions. But Haru was annoyingly right. Their earlier tension and fight, plus the long drive and morning swim had really drained his energy. Reluctantly, mumbled, “Okay.” Haru pulled away, and the two changed into pajamas quickly. Soon, Rin was burrowing under the duvet, only reaching out of the blanket’s warmth to set their alarm. Behind him, he felt the bed shift, and in the next moment, was being pulled back against Haru’s chest. Although his heart nearly beat out of his chest at the familiarity of the gesture, he made a sound of discontent. He settled against him nonetheless. Half-muffled by the pillow, he grumbled, “I still don’t understand why you get to spoon me. I’m taller.”

“It’s only a few centimeters. Shut up.” Haru’s chin was resting at the top of Rin’s scalp. After some tentative fumbling, his hand found Haru’s in the dark. Cautiously, he wove their fingers together. He squeezed his hand gently and heard Haru sigh in response.

He jostled Rin’s shoulder fondly. “Go to sleep,” Haru whispered. Rin smiled into the comforter. He didn’t want to fall asleep and forget the happiness that he was feeling. But he found himself totally at peace lulling into sleep in warm arms and listening to Haru breathe.

*

The morning seemed to go by in fast-forward. Rin’s alarm blared before the sun had even risen, leaving the two to stumble around the room in near total darkness. Wanting to make it back to Iwatobi as soon as possible, Haru had showered quicker than Rin had considered possible for him, and soon enough, the pair were throwing their duffels in the trunk and were speeding down the road.

As the sun started to rise, Rin noticed the pavement was shimmering with residue from the storm the day before. Rin yawned into the back of his hand, the other firmly gripping the steering wheel. He blinked to focus on the road, transfixed at how the sun was reflecting off the wet pavement. It was making the experience way more ethereal—as of now, the car was completely silent, because Rin had pleaded to not have a fourth listen-through of Gou’s CD and it was too early to talk. Rin could feel his stomach rumbling from the lack of breakfast. Since the roads were pretty scarce of cars, he reached into the back and grabbed two granola bars, chucking one into Haru’s lap before struggling to open his own with one hand. He narrowed his eyes at his lack of success when he suddenly felt cold fingers against his, taking the granola out of his grip. Because he was driving, he could only watch Haru gingerly open his bar out of the corner of his eye. Haru pressed it back into his palm, and Rin swallowed. “Um, thanks.”

Haru hummed in response, biting into his own bar rather than furthering the conversation. Rin took a bite of his own, his forehead creasing. Even though he was still half-asleep, his thoughts were swimming with the events of the night before. It still felt like a dream that Haru had confessed having feelings for him, but the raven’s heartache over Rin possibly leaving cemented that the scenario had been real.He desperately wanted to bring up the feelings they had discussed, and what that meant for their futures, but his words seemed stuck in his throat. He snuck a glimpse at Haru out of the corner of his eye and felt his lips quirking up. The raven looked totally at peace, chewing on his granola bar while looking at the water out the window. It made something in Rin’s chest tighten. He knew, again, in that instant, that this was what he wanted for his future—next to Haru, making him happy as possible. The thought gave him a surge of courage, a need to express what he was feeling before the future he envisioned became futile. Forcing his eyes back to the road in front of them, he swallowed, bile slightly rising as he opened his mouth to start this conversation when he was yet again interrupted.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Haru asked. Rin jerked so strongly in his seat he nearly slammed on the gas pedal. Mind whirling, his head whipped back and forth from looking at the road to a look of profound confusion directed at the raven next to him.

He was aware his cheeks were on fire as he demanded, “W-what?! You can’t just ask that so plainly—”

“You said you liked me, and I like you, so I thought I’d just ask to clear it up. It wasn’t that hard,” Haru said easily.

Rin nearly growled. Flicking his gaze to Haru for a few seconds, he noted with more rage that he was looking very pleased with himself at how flustered Rin was. He cursed himself for being so easily rattled. But in the brief meeting of their eyes, the gravity of Haru’s question slammed back down on him. Clearly, he really, really wanted to. Hell, he had been ready to pop the question himself, after the proper amount of wooing beforehand. Still, there was a lot to consider logistically speaking. He couldn’t ignore the fact that no matter how whipped he was for the raven that college would change their dynamic. Since he was staying in Japan, distance would be less of an issue, but he worried that one of them might choose a school primarily because of the other, which he didn’t want. What if they went off to college and Haru met someone else who interested him more, who liked mackerel and staring at pools for hours? Would he hate being tied down to Rin, even if they were closer in physical proximity—

“What are you thinking about?” Haru asked softly. Rin sighed, raking a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to overwhelm Haru by how many bad scenarios his mind was generating, but he deeply appreciated the fact that Haru had wanted to know what was going on in his brain instead of telling him not to worry about the details.  
“College,” he said evenly, narrowing his eyes at an upcoming lane closure. While he was merging into the remaining lane, he continued, “How that’ll affect us. Where we’ll end up.”

He heard Haru make a noise in his throat. “Rin. I’d want to swim with you if we’re together or not.” Rin’s lips were pressed in a small smile at the comment. “And it’s not like I’d be choosing it for you. It’d be the best choice for me as an individual. I couldn’t be the best without the right training.” This time, Rin’s wary exterior did crack, and he felt his mask melt into a lovestruck, exasperated smile, knowing what Haru’s training meant—Rin and him pushing each other. It was almost unfair at how well Haru could quell his insecurities and his hesitations about forcing Haru into something he didn’t want. He had never felt more loved, with or without the romantic sense.

He swallowed. “I—I would want to swim with you, too.” He risked another glance at Haru across the console, feeling struck by some power when his eyes found ocean-blues. “But I didn’t want that to be the only reason we chose a school. Like, what if we had a falling out, or get injured, and then realize that this school or program isn’t what I want? I don’t want either of us to regret anything like that.”

“That makes sense,” Haru said, “But you don’t have to worry that I’m following you. I decided on Hidaka way earlier than you did. So technically, you’d be following me, Rin.”

Rin choked again. Sputtering, he managed to get out, “Wh—How did you know that? I hadn’t told you that was my top choice!”

Again, when he caught Haru’s gaze in a passing second before turning back to the road, the raven looked annoyingly pleased with himself. “I could just tell. And they had great team chemistry, which is what you care about the most, right?”

Rin couldn’t fight a smile as he tried to keep concentrated on driving. Haru was evidently much more observant of the redhead than he ever could have dreamed, and was honestly worrying Rin at how crap of a boyfriend he would be in comparison to how great Haru already was, even with them not dating. But the feeling of slight inadequacy was very overwhelmed by his immense happiness that Haru was so caring. He talked about things that were second nature to Rin as if they were extraordinary, all because they were important to him. It made Rin want to be more vulnerable in return, knowing that Haru would be considerate of his oftentimes overly sappy feelings.

“It is,” he confessed. “But then, what made you want to go there?” Haru’s earlier comments about going anywhere to get the best training haunted him. He didn’t want to be the only reason he chose a school.

“I think team chemistry is important, too,” Haru said. Rin’s head whipped up to look at Haru, who met him with a bored expression. “I’m not talking about you, jerk. Swimming relays with the Iwatobi team have made me realize that, too.” He felt himself smiling again. Though he was a bit slighted at Haru’s reluctance to give him total credit for appreciating the teamwork part of swimming, he was genuinely thrilled that he had found such a great community with his teammates that made him want to make relays more than a one-time thing.

He continued, “Plus…they have a good marine biology program. The coach we talked to at the meet said the training could work with even science majors, so…that’s where I want to go.” Rin saw his gaze drop to his lap abruptly. “Especially if I could go with you.”

Rin flushed at the statement, trying to contain his giddiness. Haru was telling him things so sappy they could have come out of his favorite movies. Somehow, this was real life. As much as he was practically gushing with soft feelings for the raven, the rusty knife of anxiety was buried deep in him, making its presence known through more and more questions about how long this goodness was going to last. His chest tightened as he prepared to ask Haru what he feared most, hating how difficult it was for him to simply accept the good things and not almost ask for them to be taken away from him. “But you’re sure…” he began, pausing to nervously swallow. “You want to be tied down? You never know, there could be a lot more mackerel-loving swimmers in Tokyo that could make you happier than me.” He rigidly stared at the road in front of them, not physically able to glance at Haru, even though he felt the raven watching him. His cheeks heated with humiliation. He definitely made it weird. Internally, he cursed himself again, wondering why he couldn’t stop himself from sabotaging his happiness.

Haru’s lack of response didn’t do well to quell Rin’s growing fears that this was all too good to be true. But just as he feared he would be swept into another spiral of doubts, cold fingers ghosted over his hand. Risking a glance at the raven, he found Haru looking at him not with annoyance or disregard, but genuine concern. Despite the looming questions, he found that his shoulders relaxed.

“I like you,” Haru breathed. “Not because of one thing or another. But because you’re you.” His words were so simple, but to Rin, they were more poetic than those English verses he’d studied in Australia. He felt Haru’s fingers squeeze his. “Going to college won’t change that.”

Rin sighed. Haru’s point was easing his mind somewhat. After all, Haru had known him all of these years and had never decided that he was too much for him to handle. He let out a long breath, turning back to the road. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

“If you’re sure,” he heard Haru mumble, and nearly snapped his neck with how quick his head turned to face the raven.

“Am I—what?” he sputtered. “Haru—you know I’ve adored you forever.” Seeing Haru blush and look away made Rin’s dopey smile only grow. “Going to college wouldn’t change that for me, either.”

“Then what else is there to figure out?” Haru asked, now looking out the window. He squeezed Rin’s hand. “Answer my question, then.”

Rin’s heart felt like it was weightless. What else was there to figure out? He snuck another glance at the raven-haired boy next to him, at all the possibilities of their futures together. He was so terrified because being with Haru was everything he could hope for. Now, he could openly show his adoration for Haru. He was going to treat him like a mackerel king, he decided. “I’d love to be your boyfriend,” he said breathlessly.

“Good,” Haru mumbled, sounding unimpressed, but Rin knew he was excited from how he tightened his grip on his hand. Rin was about to say something sappy when Haru interjected, “Then can we listen to—”

Is he serious, Rin thought, exasperated. Right after their serious talk…the J-pop!? “Don’t even finish that sentence Haru!” Rin dramatically clutched his chest, as if deathly wounded. “Using my feelings for your own advantage?! I should’ve guessed. I guess I pale in comparison to Gou’s music!”

“Rin…”

“Don’t you want to spend your last hour before class talking to your boyfriend~” He cooed. If this was real life, he was going to capitalize on his chance to be sappy as much as possible. Haru tsked.

“Whatever. You’ve been enjoying it too,” Haru grumbled, but Rin could tell he was half-teasing, the now-signature tiny smile on his lips making Rin’s heart do somersaults.

“It’s growing on me,” he admitted reluctantly, but before Haru could chime in, he affirmed, “But that’s just because you like it so much! And your adorable dancing…” he mumbled. This time, he watched Haru’s face as it became full-on red, the deepest he’d seen on the raven.

Seeing Haru retreat to staring out the window again, Rin’s smirk softened into a lovestruck smile. Seeing Haru flustered was adorable, but he didn’t want to tease him to the point of embarrassment. He turned his hand up from where it rested on the steering wheel so he could properly clasp their hands. “Would it be ok if we just talked?”

Squeeze.

Somehow, against the laws of anatomy, Rin’s grin grew wider. “I just…yesterday I talked for so long about my favorite movie, and you never told me about yours. Would you tell me about it? I’m curious.”

“It better not be to help plan some cheesy date—”

“N-not completely! I genuinely care!”

Pause. “I know you do.”

The rest of the trip, Rin listened to Haru describe his favorite ocean documentary. He had never been more enthralled with undersea creatures, but found himself mesmerized at the images Haru painted of nearly extinct fish and the preservation of deep-sea ecosystems. Even more stunning was the way his ocean-blue eyes sparkled as he spoke about the film, always snatching Rin’s breath away when he got the chance to look in the traffic. By the time the car drove into Iwatobi, he was fully convinced they had to watch this together. His romcoms might be the conventional date option, but he had never seen Haru more enthused about a subject. When he said as much, Haru ducked his head, but mumbled he would like to very much. The idea had Rin ecstatic. He wanted to be able to share this, too, with Haru. His boyfriend. He turned to the window, “watching for traffic” to hide yet another sappy grin.

His grin was still in place when he pulled up outside of Iwatobi high school. Squeezing Haru’s hand one last time, he disconnected them to shift into park. Looking at Haru across the console, he felt the air being caught in his throat. They had figured out their relationship, yet Rin was still completely clueless at where to go from here. He’d seen more than enough romantic movies to know how to proceed! Yet his mind was totally blank. It seemed like all he could do was grin at Haru like a lovestruck fool.

Haru wasn’t helping the situation. He was looking at Rin with the purest, cutest barely-there smile. They were blinking at each other for nearly a minute when he broke the silence. “So. I have class.”

Rin nodded, his expression unwavering. “You do.”

“I need to go,” Haru said. His hand moved to grab the door handle, but he kept smiling at Rin.

He nodded in agreement. “You do.” What he would’ve given for another day with Haru, for five more minutes to drown in those blue eyes. 

Haru broke their staring contest then, suddenly transfixed with his lap. “This trip was fun. Thanks for taking me,” he said. “And for everything else.”

Rin sighed. “No, thank you.” He nudged Haru’s hand with his, drawing the raven’s attention back to him. “Taking a trip away from here—it cleared my head so I could see what I want for the future. I really needed that. So thank you.” His smile grew wider. “And for everything else, too.”

Haru’s eyebrows bunched up, and he softly shoved Rin’s shoulder back. “Stop looking at me like that,” he huffed, his cheeks dusted with pink.

“Like what?” Rin asked, feigning innocent. Haru huffed, fixing him with a colder look. When Rin kept on grinning dopily, he rolled his eyes, then glanced down at his lap again.

“I have to go. But—do you want to watch that movie on Saturday?” Haru asked. Rin’s heart nearly beat out of his chest. Rationally, he knew being boyfriends meant they had dates, but he was still floored at the request. It made everything amazingly real.

He bobbed his head as if in a trance. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Haru replied, now looking at Rin with that tiny smile. They both were frozen for a few seconds before Rin shakily leaned forward. Nearly trembling with nerves, he steadied his forearms on the console and bringing Haru’s cheek to his lips with one hand. The kiss was barely a whisper against his skin, but he heard Haru sigh at the contact. He tugged on a strand of his hair gently before pulling away, lovesick grin still in place.

Flushed, Haru ducked his head away from Rin as he jostled the door open, mumbling a final goodbye. As he moved to get his bags from the trunk, the redhead rolled the passenger window down and leaned across the seat. Nearly out the window, Rin shouted, “Don’t be too late, boyfriend!~”

“If I am, it’s your fault,” was his response. When he choked, Haru was at the passenger side again, reaching into the open window and squeezing their hands together. “Bye,” he mumbled, then turned to enter the school. Rin watched him go with the same stupefied expression. That was his boyfriend—his boyfriend was Haru. He was the cause of the remaining warmth of his hands, the butterflies in his stomach. The thoughts carried him through the drive back to Samezuka, through getting chewed out by teachers for being so late and even during a grueling practice. His ridiculous smile remained, because he knew at the end of all the madness of his daily life, he could come home to someone just a phone screen away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends! sorry for the extremely long delay. Life has been ~royally~ busy so finding time to write has been difficult, and when I did, I spent a lot of time trying to perfect this chapter to make it the best, so hopefully it delivered! You probably can tell that the main "storyline" of the fic is wrapped up, so the next chapter is going to be more of an epilogue. So, because the end is nigh, I would just like to thank everyone again for being so sweet and supportive in your kudos, comments, bookmarks, subscriptions, and just reading the fic. It truly makes me so happy to see you all enjoying something that used to just live in my brain and I am so grateful for all of you. Thanks again for going on this ~trip~ with me! (and also HUGE shoutout to BookObsessedWaterPoloPlayer and Em for editing!)
> 
> ~diving~ to the future, I have a new Rinharu fic idea that I am ridiculously excited about that I will be writing immediately after finishing Open Road. The angst is being cranked up like five thousand percent, but I promise there will be a happy ending and fluffy flashbacks that will make the trek worthwhile! If you'd like to keep an eye out for it, the tentative title is Something Old, Something New, or you could subscribe to me or follow my Tumblr @leovaldezcalypso. If not, feel free to reach out/contact me to fangirl about Dive to the Future or Rin Matsuoka eating a sandwich.
> 
> Again, thank you all so much! I'm leovaldezcalypso on tumblr and natisrapunzel on spotify!


	8. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all are ready for the fluff

TWO MONTHS LATER

Rin’s leg restlessly bobbed up and down under his desk, his eyes glued to the clock’s second hand ticking closer and closer to the hour mark. From the way he was sitting, with one calf propped up against his thigh, the edges of the folded-up paper in his pocket was digging into his side. The discomfort paled in comparison to the excitement he felt being constantly reminded of what that paper contained, and what the afternoon would bring. He grinned at the reminder. Come on, come on, he thought insistently, each tick of the clock taking a small century.

When the bell rang, he jumped out of his seat, narrowly avoiding ramming into his classmates as he shouldered through the door. He was at his locker within seconds, hastily throwing his bag’s contents into the metal void when he saw Sosuke meander up to lean against its side.

“You’re in a rush,” he observed, his face set in its typical stony expression, but there was a teasing light in his eyes that Rin didn’t trust at all. “When are you meeting Nanase?”

Rin huffed, but his smile only grew as he turned back to shoving things in his locker. He had worried how his and Haru’s relationship would affect him and Sosuke, given his old friend’s wariness for his boyfriend. While Sosuke was admittedly skeptical at first, he did want Rin to be happy most of all, and confessed he had figured Rin’s affections towards the raven even from when they were kids because of Rin’s gushing (much to his embarrassment), and he had expected this to happen all along. Then when both of their friend groups met for a day in Iwatobi, Haru had automatically pulled Sosuke aside and explained the depth of his feelings for Rin and his hope that they work past their former tension since they both were so important to Rin. It was the first time in a long, long time the redhead could remember seeing his best friend look so flabbergasted, which was far too amusing to Rin. Sosuke ultimately agreed, leading to the first of many group hugs, and group outings that made Rin’s heart nearly burst.

That wasn’t to say he didn’t prefer his time alone with his raven-haired partner. While Haru liked spending time with him in their friend groups, Rin had quickly learned that his typical quiet demeanor in social settings was a result of him becoming drained from the amount of people he was with. While he enjoyed spending time with his friends, he expressed it through his quiet observation and subtle comments, as opposed to Rin’s sappy professions of appreciation or long, babbling stories that expressed his investment in his friend group. Rin had also discovered that while he could tattle on and on for hours, Haru had a limit, usually expressed by retreating more and more from the conversation, that was a result of a too-lengthy social interaction or one with too many people. So although they sometimes started weekends with a team meetup, they usually ended with the raven curled against Rin on his couch, the pair watching a show on Rin’s phone or debating training regiments. He asked him one time, his fingers idly twining strands of his hair around a finger, if spending so much time with him was ever draining to Haru. He’d loathe himself if he had subconsciously made Haru feel obligated to spend more time than he would be comfortable with just because they were dating. Haru had simply shifted so he could fix him with an exasperated glare, even snorting to express his displeasure.

“Every time you open your mouth,” he quipped, his expression unmoving. Rin narrowed his eyes at his sarcastic tone, making Haru’s expression turn deviously innocent. He nestled back against Rin’s chest, but kept looking up at him. “Kidding.”

“I know,” Rin mumbled, lightly knocking his chin against the crown of Haru’s head before planting a quick kiss against his hair. “You’d be bored without my stories.”

He shifted to fix Rin with the same disbelieving glare, and Rin cackled. The feel of Haru lacing their hands together shut him up in an instant. “I’d tell you, though,” he muttered, eyes fixed on their joined fingers. “…it is a lot sometimes. Especially with other people. But it’s never too much. It’s really weird.”

Rin didn’t know how to respond, so he simply hummed and watched Haru breathe against his chest. Eventually, Haru’s head fell sideways so they were making eye contact again. “Sometimes when people are so much, they exhaust me. Sometimes that happens with you. Other times, though, being around you is like waking up.”

Rin felt his words like a jolt to his heart, and Haru’s twinkling eyes told him they noticed as much. He was probably blushing as red as his hair. Or Haru could feel his heart beat from his head was resting. Either way, Haru definitely noticed, giving him one last knowing smirk before turning his head the other way, so it was nestled into Rin’s shoulder. “But not right now. I’m going to take a nap.”

“Haru!”

So yes, being together was everything Rin had expected and more. They still bickered about the best source of protein or the best type of swimwear, but also could be incredibly soft with each other. Haru was completely against PDA, which Rin respected entirely, only going as far as brushing against each other’s sides when they walked next to each other in public. When they were alone, however, it had taken only a few weeks of them dating for Haru to begin curling against Rin like a koala, or used his body as a pillow anytime it was just the two of them. (Seriously, in any situation. In the middle of a fierce Mario Kart battle, Haru suddenly flopped across Rin’s lap, causing the redhead to sputter and drive off of the course in time for Haru to pass him and snag first place, but of course he hadn’t planned it and just “wanted to be comfortable.”) (He pouted, but he still played with Haru’s hair when he asked.) Needless to say, he was ridiculously excited to spend time with Haru tonight, to hear about his week at dinner and get to be close to him back at Haru’s house, or anything in between. And to tell him, he thought with a rush of adrenaline. Right. He couldn’t wait to share the news with Haru, the first step to both of their dreams finally becoming a reality.

Sosuke’s huff snapped him out of his daydream, and his cheeks heated, already anticipating his friend’s snide remarks about how whipped he was. (I mean, he knew it was true, but why should that be used against him!) “Three forty-five!” he announced quickly to stop Sosuke from commenting. “We’re meeting at the Iwatobi station.” Rin had never thought he’d be grateful for a swimming taper, but the cancelled practice in preparation for their meet that weekend gave him enough time to meet with Haru. Because of their schedules and the distance between schools, they couldn’t meet every weekend, but still talked daily with Haru’s newfound competence with technology. Still, it wasn’t the same as when they were actually together, and his grin widened as he envisioned those blue eyes he’d get to see up-close in less than an hour.

He shut his locker and sped-walked down the hall, Sosuke matching his every step. “What’re you doing tonight?” he asked.

“I don’t know…probably watch a show? I might look over our training plan for next week.”

They chatted back and forth about next week’s training schedule—slightly less intense for recovery, as they would be coming off a big meet, as they walked out of the halls and into the courtyard. Rin was going into detail about his plans for the weight room when Sosuke abruptly cut him off. “You said you’re meeting Nanase at the station?”

He nodded, his forehead knitting. “Yeah, why?”

Rin looked over at his best friend and was even more troubled. Sosuke was looking at him strangely…almost as if he was smirking. “Something tells me there’s been a change of plans,” he said, then jerked his head towards something in front of them.

Rin’s head whipped forward, his eyes scanning the courtyard for what Sosuke was hinting at as his traitorous heart began beating faster. He didn’t worry too long about getting his hopes up for nothing, however, because in mere seconds of searching, his eyes found a lanky, raven-haired figure with his blue eyes fixed on Rin. His breath caught, and his perplexed expression gave way into a ridiculously large grin. Without thinking, his legs bounded over to meet him, only stopping when they were a socially acceptable distance apart. He scanned Haru’s face, from the twinkle in his eyes to the small smile on his lips, while his brain tried to form a coherent sentence. Finally, he stuttered, “What are you doing here? I was going to meet you—”

“I…” Haru began, but turned his head to the side. The small pink tint of Haru’s cheeks made Rin’s heart stammer. “There’s something I wanted to tell you. I couldn’t wait.”

He took in Haru’s outfit for the first time then, and realized with a start it was his Iwatobi uniform. With the current time, and the speed of the train… “Did you leave class early?” He asked in part awe and part horror that he might fall behind in class because of him.

Haru shrugged. Then his tiny smile grew, and Rin’s breath almost caught again. “It doesn’t matter that much anymore, anyway,” he said. Rin watched as a hand disappeared in his pocket, scarcely breathing. Ever so slowly, the raven pulled out a folded-up piece of paper. He gently tugged Rin’s hand up and turned it over before placing the folded square into his palm. Then he tapped the redhead’s fingers. “Don’t make me wait longer,” he said, and Rin began unfolding without hesitation.

Rin’s heart was pounding. He was almost certain he knew what this was—in fact, he had similar plans for the raven earlier—but that didn’t make this moment any less exciting. He tried to keep his hands from shaking as he read through the letter. The Hitoka University seal looked even glossier in the sun. Even better were the words plainly printed in black ink—Congratulations on your acceptance, Nanase Haruka!

His cheeks hurt from how wide he was smiling. Haru seemed to take notice, as the paper was snatched back from him just as he had begun skimming the last paragraph. Then, in an extremely affectionate gesture for public, Haru bumped their shoulders together, ducking his head away so Rin couldn’t see. “Your teeth are blinding me,” he heard the raven mumble, but the comment made him smile more.

“It’s for school and for swimming,” Haru said to the courtyard pathway. “And there’s a little scholarship.” Not wanting to be too affectionate in public but needing to show his excitement for Haru, Rin squeezed his shoulder for the briefest second.

“Haruu!” Rin cried. “That’s incredible! I’m so happy for—”

“Did you get yours?” Haru asked immediately, his eyes slicing back to Rin’s, brimming with insistence, but hopefulness, too. Rin felt himself soften at the look, at how much Haru genuinely cared for his happiness, even when something great had happened to him. With his empty hand, he reached into his pocket and thrust his acceptance letter towards Haru. His eyes glistened as he watched him scan his letter, how Haru’s lips quirked into a soft smile at his printed acceptance. Then just as quickly, he was handing it back to him. “I’m not surprised. They were schmoozing you up at the meet.”

His grin turned impish. “They weren’t the only ones, eh, Haru?”

The raven rolled his eyes, but the soft smile remained, making it hard for Rin to breathe properly. “Shut up. Anyways, I’m really happy for you, Rin.”

He watched Haru’s eyes flick down to his empty hand, and suddenly the space between them seemed laden with tension. Reaching out and lacing their hands together like they had done so many times before within the privacy of their own rooms or in the dimmed movie theatre lighting was now an impossible task, and the need to do so anyway felt overwhelming. He gulped. His fingers twitching against his will, as if they were somehow called to lace together with Haru’s. Tucking his hand in his pocket to avoid the temptation, his heart catapulted as Haru’s gaze snapped up from studying his hand to meeting his eyes, his expression tense and brimming with the same desire Rin was suffocating from.

“So you both got in, then?”

Sosuke’s comment made the pair flinch and step away from each other as if they had been caught in an illicit act. Rin coughed, running his fingers through his hair. “Uh, yeah, we did! We’ll finally be on the same team again,” he finished with a soft smile. Haru was pointedly staring at the pillar to the left of them.

Rin’s best friend smirked, and Rin’s stomach promptly nose-dived, knowing that look could only mean he was about to share something humiliating about him. Sure enough, he drawled, “You want any tips on how to live with Rin, Nanase? I can’t guarantee you’ll still want to room with him after you know the things I have to deal with, but I’m just trying to look out for you.”

Rin turned bright red, whirling at his best friend. “Oi, shove off! I’m nothing but an angel to live with!” He tried to play off Sosuke’s comments with outrage at this slander (because seriously! He was an impeccable roommate!), but internally, his heart was pounding with anxiety for how Haru would react. They had made plans for next year at the same university—which classes they could try to schedule together, and times for weight and land training, but neither had broached the concept of rooming together. Logically, it made sense on multiple fronts—they had the same sports schedule, so waking each other up for early practice wouldn’t be an issue. They understood each other’s eccentricities (Haru’s lengthy baths and Rin’s perfect tidiness) and weren’t bothered by them. And, of course, they were dating. Which made the idea of living together have somewhat of a different connotation.

“I haven’t talked about it with Rin yet,” Haru said, and Rin’s head snapped to watch his reaction. “But I’m sure I can deal with whatever gross things he does. He says enough gross things already.”

Somehow, Rin flushed deeper. “What’re you talking about?”

Haru fixed him with a look and crossed his arms. “‘Your eyes are like the depths of the ocean I want to swim to?’” At the quote, Sosuke doubled over cackling, while Rin stood frozen, feeling utterly betrayed.

When Sosuke’s ridiculously loud laughter died down, he snapped, “Oh whatever, that’s not that sappy!” Haru and Sosuke exchanged a look. Rin scowled. “It’s not! And you thought it was sweet, Haru!”

His boyfriend rolled his eyes, but the redhead took the slight pink color in his cheeks as a victory. “Maybe.” He was aggressively staring at the courtyard pathway. Sensing Rin’s eyes on him, his flicked to meet Rin’s briefly, silently saying many things before glancing away. They said, You know I’m teasing. It’s not too sappy. I like it very much.

“Yeah, you should definitely get a room,” Sosuke interrupted, making them both flinch again. Rin’s cheeks were positively burning at this point. He knew Sosuke was joking about their longing stares, but the insinuation that they would be doing more…adult activities made Rin more anxious. He didn’t want Haru to be uncomfortable by Sosuke’s teasing, especially since he was so private about their romantic activities…

Sneaking a look up at Haru, he was stunned to see his boyfriend staring Sosuke straight in the eye. “It would make sense for us to room together. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience anyone who would room with us,” he said, completely straight-faced. Rin choked. He hadn’t said anything outrightly scandalous—for all they knew, he could have been referring to their early schedules as an inconvenience—but the way he delivered made it seem like he was answering Sosuke’s earlier insinuation directly. Rin was flabbergasted at Haru’s sudden surge of cockiness, especially since he knew it was all a ruse. They had barely even kissed! The insinuations from both sides made him wonder irrationally how things would change between them if they were truly left to their own devices. He didn’t think so—Haru and him had planned on taking things slower, and they would definitely talk about it if they ever wanted that to change. Plus, he was pretty sure Haru really meant they would inconvenience potential roommates by kicking them out so they could snuggle in peace. Making it seem like they would sexile them was just a way to get a rise out of Sosuke.

It seemed to be very effective, as Rin noticed with a start his best friend was almost as red as he was. Clearly uncomfortable, he coughed and mumbled, “Yeah, I don’t wanna know about that. Forget I brought it up. I’ll see you later, Rin,” he said, not meeting either of their eyes before stumbling away.

Rin laughed out loud and shook his head at Haru, stepping closer to his boyfriend. He whispered, “Good work, Nanase. Now we can be alone right now~”

“Gross,” Haru grumbled, tucking his chin down so Rin couldn’t see his tiny blush. “Quit staring and walk to the train with me. We’re gonna be late.”

Rin rolled his eyes, thinking of quipping that they wouldn’t be missing their train if Haru had just waited for him in Iwatobi, but was too thrilled by Haru’s surprise to tease him. Instead, he smiled, savoring the feel of Haru’s hand as their arms brushed totally by accident. They made it on the train with a few minutes to spare, even snagging seats together. It wasn’t very crowded, but Haru’s arm and leg were flush against his, making it difficult for Rin to breathe. Haru’s proximity and his initiative to press so close to him, yet his inability to act upon it by wrapping his arm around him to hold him closer, was suffocating. Inwardly, he counted the minutes until they could get off the train and race Haru to his house so he could hold his boyfriend properly. To silence his insistent thoughts, he prattled about his day to the raven, grinning widely at every tiny smile Haru relinquished at something that amused him. When Haru told Rin about his day, he was much more brief, but everything he mentioned was very important to him. His eyes shone as he told Rin about the progress Nagisa and Rei had made on their relay exchange. In the next moment, however, his expression changed to a scowl, and he shoved Rin’s shoulder slightly. “Stop that,” he muttered, ducking his head away from Rin’s warm gaze.

“Stop what? I’m just listening,” Rin nearly cooed.

Haru’s head tilted back to look his boyfriend in the eyes. He narrowed his eyes. “But you’re looking at me so gooey.” His expression was still stern, but Rin saw he was fighting a smile, and his cheeks were turning pinker.

“I can’t help it! You’re just so adorable when you talk about them,” he said softly. Haru tsked and looked away again, now clearly turning red. To rectify the situation, Rin slapped his palms over his cheeks, peeking at Haru through his fingers. “Here, I won’t look at you! Now you can tell me without getting flustered!”

Haru huffed. Rin’s heart lept as he saw his smile growing. “You’re a dork,” he mumbled. Then, hesitantly, his cold hands reached out and clasped Rin’s wrists to pry his hands off his face. “It’s alright. I like…I like looking at you.”

Rin smiled so wide he felt his cheeks were going to burst. “I like looking at you, too,” he breathed.

The train doors chimed, and people started to move about, leaving and entering. Haru seemed to remember where they were and dropped Rin’s wrists like they were on fire. “That’s obvious,” he snipped, and Rin gasped, mock-offended. Haru smiled back at him. When the new passengers had settled and the train started moving again, he nudged Rin’s leg with knee. Rin nudged back. Looking up, he met Haru’s eyes, the pair silently conveying so many things.

After a beat of silence, Rin bit his lip. “Hey…were you serious about what Sosuke said? Did you want to room with me?”

Haru’s eyes shot to his lap, and Rin felt a pang of fear in his chest. “Like, not in a weird way! I’m not suggesting it because it of like, dating things, because, um. Well, you know. I think it’d be nice to room with you, but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable because we’re dating or like, feel pressured or anything?” Rin winced, suddenly feeling way too hot in the semi-air-conditioned train. He was well aware he was making this conversation way more awkward than it should be, but he didn’t know how to talk about things like this! For a moment, he worried that Haru would be even more uncomfortable with the idea with his incoherent babbling. When he glanced up at the raven, however, Haru was surveying him with an amused smile. Instantly, he was at ease. Wincing, he grumbled, “I’m really crap at explaining this, aren’t I?”

“Yeah,” Haru said evenly, but knocked his knee into Rin’s when he huffed about it. “You’re saying that you don’t want me to feel like living together will…change how things are,” he said. Rin nodded. Really, he should’ve waited for Haru to bring this up—he was being a lot more coherent and to the point. “I know that. We’d talk about it if we wanted things to be different.”

Rin let out a long sigh and unconsciously shifted closer to Haru. “I know. I just worry sometimes. And I want to make sure that you’re never uncomfortable…”

“I’d tell you,” Haru said insistently, leaning into Rin’s side for a brief second. “I would like to do, if it’s okay with you. I think we’d be great roommates.”

Rin felt his chest grow warm. With a growing smile, he breathed, “Me, too.”

“Then I could use that warm blanket as much as I want.”

“Hey!” Rin yelped. Haru turned away from him, but his shoulders were shaking with silent laughter. “Is that blanket my best attribute as a roommate?”

To his horror, Haru shrugged. His jaw fell slack, and Haru poked his cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll repay you for your blanket’s sacrifice. I can cook for us.”

“Haru, freshman dorms don’t have kitchen sets!” Rin wailed. Haru, the bastard, kept staring at the floor in front of them, sporting a tiny, impish smile that both frustrated and attracted him. He knew without a doubt Haru could take that blanket from him without any exchange, as long as it could make him smile like that. 

The unexpected warmth pressing against him snapped him out of his thoughts. Haru was leaning into the train’s braking, which consequently pressed the pair closer together in a way that wouldn’t draw attention to themselves. A brief glance at the sign told Rin this was their stop. People began to move out of their seats and towards the exits, but Haru remained leaning against him. Rin’s brain stopped working as he took in Haru’s expression—his eyes, his tiny blush, and his ghost of a smile that was like treasure to him.

“Well, you’ll have easy access to my sweatshirts, then,” Haru said, eyes sparkling with mirth. Rin blushed. Yes, he had an affinity for wearing anything of Haru’s when given the opportunity. The past few times he’d been over, he had been in such a hurry he forgot a jacket, and Haru’s house was too chilly for just a t-shirt. Haru argued, with his extensive knowledge of Rin’s body temperature from using his boyfriend as a pillow, that he was always nice and warm without a hoodie, but Rin’s whining and overdramatic shivers soon had Haru chucking a hoodie at his face. Within seconds of putting it on, Rin went from slightly cold to unexplainably giddy. He was completely surrounded by Haru’s smell and overcome with some warm feeling of belonging, of Haru sharing this sweatshirt that read “Iwatobi Swim” in flaking letters with him. He ducked his chin deeper into the sweatshirt, trying to covertly absorb more of Haru’s smell. Just then, he heard Haru make a choking noise, and went completely rigid, his chin still nestled in the hoodie’s neckline, his eyes wide. Haru was looking back at him just as dazed, staring at him with wide eyes and the deepest blush he’d ever seen on the raven. Slowly, Rin relaxed, watching Haru’s eyes trace his torso and arms in his own sweatshirt. “You like it?” Rin smirked.

“Shut up, Rin!”

But while Haru himself found Rin wearing his clothes endearing, it was not lost on either of them how much Rin cherished wearing Haru’s clothes. Haru had to physically pry one sweatshirt off of Rin that he needed to wear to match the team at a meet. The one that Haru let him keep at Samezuka was stored in the bottom of Rin’s drawers to keep it away from any possible shenanigans, but also to preserve the way it smelled like Haru. After long days of school or swimming, or during late nights of Rin staring at texts and typing bubbles on his phone while aching for the real thing, he would burrow into it, only his eyes peeking out of the hood. (Haru’s one and only Snapchat screenshot was a selfie Rin took in this exact position.) Wearing it made him feel calmer, like being with Haru in real life did. Plus, it was adorably romantic, in Rin’s opinion. Being able to wear Haru’s sweatshirts more…that was definitely a perk.

“That sounds…tempting,” Rin said, feigning indifference. Both of them knew he was sold long before Haru’s hoodies were in question.  
Haru’s raised eyebrow said as much, but his tiny smile told Rin he was genuinely excited for this. For them to live together. It had been two months, but still, Rin sometimes couldn’t believe this was his life. “Okay then,” Haru said.

“Okay,” Rin breathed. He was smiling back as wide as he possibly could. People had always told him his smile was too intense—so large and reaching it was sometimes frightening. But Haru smiled back at him unflinchingly. He matched him. It was more than Rin could have ever dreamed.

The train had finally pulled into their station. Rin watched Haru ease out of his seat next to him. Watching him stand, Rin was struck with images of their future together—the early mornings, the practices in adjacent lanes, the late nights scribbling annotations and making flashcards, the romcom marathons, the weekend trips to see the ocean, the smell of Haru’s sweatshirts, the late-night cuddles, and the feel of their hands lacing together. It couldn’t be put into words the excitement he had to share all of these things with the man standing in front of him.

Haru shoved his hand out towards Rin, frowning. “Oi, are you ready? Do you need me to help you up or something?”

Rin grinned, taking Haru’s hand and letting himself be tugged upwards. “I’m ready,” he said, and followed Haru off of the train. On the sidewalk, he laced their fingers together, and they walked hand and hand, matching each other’s pace, ready to face whatever was to come for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* thank you so so much again to everyone who has read this and enjoyed it in any way, shape or form. I'm so grateful that so many of you have reached out to me and have been so supportive of this work! As I mentioned in my last update, I am starting a new Rinharu fic, but some other ships may come up as well :) Thank you again for experiencing this story with me. I hope your day is great wherever you are, and that these boys give you another reason to smile.


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